The Right Side of Wrong
by nightxinxthextwlight
Summary: Bam Margera is a senior in high school who's brother is in university. On a visit to his brother, he meets a quiet and strange man. What happens when he can't get the man out of his head? Bam/Ville VAM. Rated M; alcohol use, language, and mpreg.
1. One: Take It as It Comes

"Hurry up, Bam!"

I was hurrying as quickly as I could toward my older brother, Jess. It was his first year of university, and he was insistent on getting to his dorm room on time. April, my mother, had suggested he live at home while in university, but he wanted to move out anyway. Considering it was his first day in, and our parents had to work, he enlisted the help of myself and his friend Brandon to help him move all his stuff, which was a tough job.

"I can't believe you're making me do this," I mumbled.

"Actually," he countered, "Mom's making you do this."

I rolled my eyes. I didn't care who was making me do it, the point is that I was being forced on a late August afternoon to do something I didn't want to do. Don't get me wrong, I adore my brother and I love to help him out, moving just isn't my deal. I repositioned the box in my arms so that it was easier to carry, and attempted to speed up behind my brother.

"So do you know who your roommate is?"

"Dunn."

"Ryan Dunn, from high school? The guy who's always hanging around the house? That's awesome, Jess. You'll have to invite me over sometimes."

"If mom says so, you can come."

"I'm almost seventeen. I should be allowed to do whatever I want."

Jess laughed, "You try convincing her of that."

Not long afterward, we reached room 230, which was to be Jess and Ryan's room. Jess turned the knob and pushed the door open, noticing that Ryan was already inside. The man didn't even notice us, until Jess smacked a heavy box down on the nearest bed to the door, saying, "This one's mine!"

Ryan turned around, smiling, "Jess! Bam!"

I waved, and Jess was about to speak when Brandon came in behind us, carrying the last and heaviest box of them all. Noticing him, Ryan smiled more. "Dico!"

"Man, I wish I could have you all as my roommates," Ryan told us.

I smirked, "Too bad I'm still stuck in fucking high school."

"Yeah, and it's too bad there's only two per room," Brandon added.

I sat down on Jess' bed, and began to open up the box sitting there. Part of the duties April gave me today was not only helping Jess move in, but also helping him unpack. Brandon did the same, with another box, as Jess tossed the third box toward Ryan. Of course Jess wouldn't unpack his own things, there was nothing forcing him to. He would probably live in filth if we not too lazy to even toss a box toward his friend.

"So Dico," Ryan began, "Who's your roommate?"

"Some Valo guy. I haven't been to my room yet, so I haven't seen him. Hell, I haven't even heard of him!"

"Valo...isn't he hat quiet guy in your year? The one who always sits in the back, never speaking...the one who you never see outside of class?"

"Oh yeah...I think I remember him..."

Laughing, Ryan added, "Might be time to throw some parties. Get that guy out of whatever misery keeps him quiet!"

I had no idea what to say. This guy sounded strange, but at the same time, I was interested. I wanted to know why he was so quiet, why no one every saw him. "Hey Brand," I spoke up, "Can I help you move in?"

Smiling, he motioned me toward the door, "Sure, buddy. Come on."

As I followed Brandon out of the room, I grabbed my handheld camera from my bag. It was brand new and expensive, barely been used yet, and I figured walking through a crowded college would be a perfect time to use it. My best friend Raab would be interested in seeing this tape. Perhaps I could even get film of Brandon's roommate, the guy I was eager to meet.

Brandon's room was a floor up from Jess', in room 341. We had gone outside to his car first in order to grab his one and only box, which he carried as he noticed I was filming. Just to play around with me, Brandon made himself fall down the stairs on the way down to the parking lot. Although he was Jess' friend, I loved hanging around him, and the feeling was mutual.

As he pushed open the door, I caught a glimpse of another man on the first bed. He heard the door, and in an instant, spun around with wide eyes. His eyes were of an emerald green, and I instantly locked with them. He didn't pay any attention to Brandon, but to me, as I filmed his silence. Brandon walked right past, toward the far bed, and I slowly stepped toward the other man.

"Hi," I began, "I'm Bam."

He didn't speak to me, so Brandon stepped up and said, "I'm your roommate."

Again, he said nothing. He even looked away from me, and went back to writing something in a notebook. "Alright, then, I think I'll get going," I said, waving off to Brandon.

"Okay, kid. Tell your brother I'll be back soon."

I nodded, and left the room. I was unsure as to what it was, but when I was in that room, it felt as if something was drawing me closer. The eyes of the Valo guy were hypnotic to me, and I didn't want to look away when I was there. For the first time, I felt like I wanted to just be there with him. I never wanted to "just be there" with anybody, let alone someone I didn't know.


	2. Two: Ready Steady Go

"Wait a moment, who's that?"

Chris Raab, whom I just call Raab, and I were in my room watching the tape I filmed at the West Chester University of Pennsylvania. It had been three days since I helped Jess move in, and considering school was going to begin after the weekend, Raab and I decided to stay up all weekend and act like idiots. It was, after all, our favourite past time.

"That's Brand's roommate," I explained, answering the question my best friend had asked about the silent guy in Brandon's room.

"He seems...eerie."

"That's one way you could put it. I dunno, he kept staring at me. Never said a word, though. It was as if I was there to hurt him."

"Weird."

"I know. Dunn said that he's quiet, and never speaks to anyone, and always sits in the back of classes. No one ever sees him elsewhere."

"Maybe Brand can find out why now."

I nodded, "I thought that too."

Personally, I had thought of finding out myself. Brand was an awesome guy and there would be no questions if I went to visit him. Even though I was only sixteen, and he was nineteen, we spent a lot of time hanging out when he came to see Jess. I had thought of going to his room often, and bringing my camera with me, like a reporter perhaps.

"Boys!" I heard April call up to us. "Dinner is ready."

Raab and I stood, and he left my room and I turned off my TV. Walking down the stairs, I could smell the meatloaf already. April was an amazing cook, I was lucky to have her for a mother. As well, as boring as she could be, she never truly punished Jess or me for any of the crazy stuff we did. We reached the kitchen, and without saying anything, grabbed our plates.

"Dude, your mom makes the best meatloaf," Raab stated as he sat on a couch in the living room, which was adjacent to the kitchen.

I sat across from him, saying, "I know. Lucky me."

After quickly stuffing my mouth, I asked, "So, are you pumped for school?"

"Hell no! I can't wait 'till I graduate."

"I will graduate this year," I said proudly.

"If you don't do something stupid and get yourself kicked out."

"You're more likely to than me."

He nodded in agreement. That was Raab. He was a troublemaker, and a sixteen year old alcoholic. If something didn't go his way, he drank; if something did go his way, in celebration, he drank. I didn't care either way. I would be lying if I said I never drank, but I didn't drink as much as Raab. He also did the stupidest stuff when drunk, you'd never believe he was real sometimes.

"I'm set on getting out of school. Then I can really make a living skateboarding."

"You could do that now!"

"Ape wants me to graduate before I pursue any career."

He shook his head, laughing, when I heard the phone ring. I picked up the closest one from the table beside me. "Hello?"

"_Hello. Is there a Bam Margera there?"_

"Yeah, that's me."

"_You skateboard, am I correct? I saw one of your videos. You're talented."_

"You think so?"

"_I wouldn't be contacting you if I didn't think so."_

I believed him, because it was true. It was then that I realized I had no idea who this was. "Excuse me," I asked, "But who is this?"

"_My name is James Marsden. I work with Element. We would like it if you would not only wear our merchandise to advertise, but actually came to compete in some skateboarding competitions on our behalf."_

I gaped, "Are you kidding me?"

"_No sir, I am quite serious here."_

"That's...amazing, sir. Can I have time to think about it, though?"

"_Of course, we'll contact you again in two weeks."_

Hanging up the phone, I could barely put together any words. Raab looked at me funny, his face still stuffed with food, so I tried to think of a way to say it. "Raab, buddy...I might be famous!"

He began to clap, unable to say anything because of his full mouth. It was an awesome offer, and I was tempted to take it. Actually, I would have taken it on the spot if I knew April wouldn't be mad about it. I had two weeks to ask her, and coax her into letting me do it. With school coming up, she was bound to say no, so I had to form a plan in my head, and quickly. Putting my plate on the table, I dashed upstairs quickly, and returned with my camera.

"Raab," I began, "Take this, and press record."

He did as I said, and with the camera facing me, I called out, "IMUNNA BE FAMOUS! GO BAM!"


	3. Three: Welcome to the Jungle

"Damn fucking homework."

It was by then the first week of school, and the twelfth grade was harder than I had imagined. I already had a project due, and absolutely no motivation to get it done. Reminding myself that I wanted to graduate, I began to project, but got thoroughly bored almost instantly and gave up. There was so much to do and I was looking for some sort of distraction.

My prayers were answered when the phone rang. "Hello?"

"_Bam, we're having a party tonight. You gotta come."_

"Sure, Jess," I replied happily, recognizing my brother's voice instantly, "I'll be there as soon as I can."

Hanging up the phone, I closed my school books and tossed them aside. My jacket was laying somewhere around the room, and when I found it, I just grabbed it and ran downstairs. Both my parents were home, and I was unsure if they would approve of me partying, so I attempted to sneak out. The try was failed, though, as April came in asking, "Bam, where are you going?"

"Oh, uh...just to see Jess. He invited me over."

"Don't you have school work to do?"

"It's Friday night, Ape. I can do it Sunday before the weekend ends."

I know she was about to say something more, but I didn't have time for it. My objective was to get to WCU as soon as I could. I decided against taking the bus, and instead to just drive my dad Phil's old van over. I had my license, thankfully, so there was no reason for me not to. The drive was approximately fifteen minutes long, in which I spent blasting the radio.

As soon as I reached the university, I ran up to Jess' dorm room. I knocked and waited for nearly a minute before someone answered, and when someone did, it was some guy I had never seen before. He gave me a weird look, and closed the door in my face. I frowned and knocked harder, the same guy answering the door the second time.

"What do you want, kid?"

"I was invited to this party."

"I highly doubt that. Go along, get home."

"Jess!" I cried, finally getting the attention of my brother. "Jess! Let me in!"

He motioned for the guy to let me in, causing the guy to roll his eyes. Jess apologized for that, saying that the party was restricted to students at the university, so it was a surprise to many that I was invited. I tossed my jacket down on the floor as soon as I got in, and headed straight for the cooler, which Ryan was guarding from the masses of people.

"Hit me with a beer, Dunn."

He opened it up and tossed me one, saying, "Don't get too wasted."

I nodded. Ryan understood what it was like to be a teenager, wanting to party all the time, and knew that it was impossible to stop any teenage boy from drinking if they had the chance. Nonetheless, since he was an adult, he felt it was his duty to warn me even slightly. I opened up the bottle, and took a long gulp. It had been a while since I got to drink.

I barely knew anyone in the room. Brandon was there, Dunn was there, and Jess was there. I knew them for sure. Jess' friend Rake, who's real name I don't even remember, was also there. He was a fourth year student at the university, and I believed probably the oldest one at the party, considering it was a party held by a sophomore and a freshman. I knew for a fact that I was the youngest person in the room, and possibly the whole building.

"Hey kid," some girl began to say to me, clearly wasted, "Wanna go have some fun somewhere all alone?"

Most men would say yes in this situation, but I forced myself to decline, "Sorry, I have other things to do."

She walked off, mumbling something about me being gay. That wasn't true, I knew I wasn't gay. I had dated plenty of girls, had plenty of sex, and it had been great each time. To be honest, though, I had been having thoughts as of late in concern of my sexuality. I had never made a thought about it even once until the day I helped Jess move in; the day I had met the Valo guy.

After a while, I couldn't take the room anymore. I was getting tipsy and it was lonely as everyone else was busy talking to someone else. I considered going home for a moment, but then decided that it would be better that I didn't go home drunk, when April and Phil may still be awake. Instead, I marched my way up to Brandon. He was in fits of laughter from something someone said, so I waited a moment before I had his attention.

"Can I have the key to your room? I need to pass out somewhere."

"Sure," Brandon replied, handing me his keychain.

I staggered out of the room, and up the stairs toward Brandon's room. It took me a minute or so to even get the key in the lock, but I managed it and walked right in. The room was completely dark, but I had no thought to turn on the light. I yawned and tried to find my way around the room. I was about to pass out on the first bed, but I remembered that the second one was Brandon's, so I walked as far as I would and collapsed on the bed.

For moments, I was unable to fall asleep. I stared at the roof, or what I believed was the roof. I wished I had brought my camera, because then I could have actually had more fun at the party. Everyone was acting stupid, and it would be nice as well to see myself drunk when I'm sober. Yawning again, I closed my eyes drifted off into a dreamless sleep.


	4. Four: Come Dig Me Out

"Oh man...my fucking head..."

Sun poured into the room, and I attempted to keep my eyes shut. My hand went straight to my head, which was throbbing. I hated hangovers, though I had to admit to myself, I had experienced worse hangovers in my life. I rolled on my side, trying to rid my face of the light, but it hadn't worked. Opening my eyes, I felt myself freezing up on the inside.

"Good morning."

The Valo guy was looking right at me, and he actually spoke to me. Suddenly, I felt very shy, but replied, "Morning."

"Bam, right?"

I nodded, and he asked, "What are you doing in here?"

"I...went to a party," I replied, after taking a moment to even remember. "I decided to pass out a little early."

"Why not go back to your own room? Or...?"

I looked at his face as he said that, and I could tell he was thinking. It took me a while to even process what he may have meant to say, but when it came to me, my eyes widened. Rolling my eyes into the back of my head a moment, I lay back down, and tried to create a reply within my head. Finally, I figured I had the right thing to say.

"No, no. I don't go here. I'm only in high school. And no, I'm not sleeping with Brand. He's really just a friend."

"How old are you?"

"Seventeen in two weeks or so."

"I'm Ville. Ville Valo."

Ville. Ville Valo. The name slipped off his tongue like perfect. It was not an English name, I could tell, but then again, he also spoke with a deep accent. It was clear that he was not American, although I had no idea where he was from. I felt it may be a little rude to ask, so I didn't bother to. I turned my head toward him again to feel pierced by those green eyes.

"Where are you from?" I asked anyway, mentally hitting myself for it.

"Finland."

I was about to ask something else when the door slammed open, the sound of it hitting the wall sending more pain to my head. In walked Brandon and Jess, both of whom looked relieved to see me laying in Brandon's bed. Brandon bent over to pick his key off the floor, where I'd left it, and Jess shook his head while grinning when he looked at me.

"There you are, Bam. Got a hangover, I'm guessing?"

I nodded, when Brandon began to push me off the bed. "Get up, come on. I want the chance to sleep, too."

"Where am I supposed to go?"

"Go home," Jess suggested. "Mom will be thrilled to see you."

"Not likely," I said, finally standing and feeling dizzy.

Ville was looking away when I looked at him next. He obviously didn't want anyone else to know we had been talking, as if it were some taboo to be talking to someone. I turned around to see Brandon already laying down on his bed, and Jess put his hand on my shoulder. He was directing me toward the door, and all I could do was look back at Ville, who still wasn't looking at me.

As I drove myself home in Phil's van, I took some time to think. They all said that Ville never spoke to anyone, and no one ever saw him. Not only did I see him, but he spoke to me, and we carried on a conversation. The entire time, I had felt myself desiring to get closer and speak about more private matters, but I was too scared. As well, we were interrupted.

Walking in the door, I was instantly bombarded by April, asking, "Where were you all night? Why didn't you answer your cell phone? Are you alright?"

I nodded, "I'm fine. I stayed at Jess' and I was sleeping, so I couldn't answer my cell phone."

"I called Jess. He didn't know where you were."

"I was in Brandon's room. Everything was too noisy in Jess'."

"They weren't having a party, were they?"

"Of course not, Ape. They were just being noisy."

Sensing by my tone of voice that I was agitated, April left me alone after that and I proceeded to my room. I checked my pockets for my cell phone, but then realized that it was in the jacket which I left in Jess' room. Sighing, I flopped down onto my own bed, pushing my school books off of it so that I could get comfortable. Drifting off, I realized that now I had a reason to return to the university, and perhaps next time I'd bring my camera.

"Bam! Phone!"

I was awoken a few hours later by Phil calling me, saying I had a phone call. I barely had time to say hello when I heard, _"Hello Bam,"_ in an accent.

"How did you get my number?"

"_Your brother brought your cell phone to Brandon. It's in your addresses."_

"Oh," I replied, figuring that Jess would pawn off my stuff to his friends before returning it to me first.

"_I thought I'd let you know to come here to get it instead of there."_


	5. Five: Ordinary Man

"Ape, I'm going to grab my phone from Jess'!"

I ran out the door following that, camera in hand and van keys in my pocket. I pulled out the keys and jumped into the van, pumped that I was finally going to get my phone back. Of course, that was not the only reason I was excited to go, but it had been two weeks since I was there, and I needed my phone back. Especially since April forbade to go to the skate competition, I needed something else to do than sit around and do homework.

In the two weeks I'd spent away from the university, everything within my head was spinning. I was dreaming about Ville, which made me question my sexuality even more. The dreams never got so far as doing anything sexual, but I still could not help but wonder why I couldn't get the man out of my head. As I pulled into the university parking lot, my stomach began doing flips.

"Don't fret, stop fretting," I mumbled to myself as I climbed the steps of the student housing building.

When I reached the room, I knocked and stood there silently. There was no answer, so I turned the knob. Considering the door was unlocked, I assumed someone must have been in the room. I walked in slowly, and shut the door behind me. I peeked around the first wall, and there was Ville, sitting on his bed and writing in a notebook.

"Um...hi," was all I could get out, in which Ville looked up.

"You came for your phone?"

I nodded, and he handed me the cell phone. Instantly, he went back to his writing. It was as if now he didn't even care about speaking to me, which hurt somewhat. Here was this guy who I could not get out of my head, and suddenly he wanted nothing to do with me. I grabbed my phone, and for a moment, all I could do was stand there and look at his. My camera was still focused on him, but at the moment, I hadn't even noticed.

"That's it? Return my phone, and that's it?"

Ville looked up at me, confused, "Was there something else I was to do?"

"Maybe act like I exist! Act like I'm here!"

"Calm down. I wasn't aware you wanted me to."

I could feel my face go red, and I bit my lip. "I'm sorry."

"No need to be sorry."

There was then silence. I had no idea what to say to this man, and he just continued to stare at me. When I said nothing, he went back to his writing. It seemed all he did was write. I then moved closer to him, focussing the camera on him a bit better, causing him to make a face, but not look up. I smiled, and asked him, "What are you writing?"

"A song."

"A song about what?"

"Love."

I backed up and took a seat on Brandon's bed, continuing to hold the camera so it would record Ville. "Are you in love?"

"I'm always in love. My love is very rarely returned, though."

I could hear the sigh in his voice as he said that. I knew exactly how he felt. Sure, I could be honest and say that I didn't love every girl I fucked in the past, but there were one or two whom I did love. All they did was use me. His face, when I next got a good look at it, held an expression of pain, so I decided it would be best to change the subject.

"How old are you?"

"Nineteen. I'll be twenty in two months, though."

"My seventeenth birthday is tomorrow."

He looked at me then, very briefly, and smiled. "Happy birthday, then."

It had only been brief, but the smile he gave me lit up my entire morning. Nothing had necessarily been going my way, and somewhat still wasn't at that point, but a smile from the man before just washed away the negative thoughts. I then decided that I wanted to get to know a little bit about him. Questions already began to form in my head.

"Why do you always sit in here and write?"

"Nothing better to do."

"There's plenty to do. People to see, books to read, laughs to be had..."

"I don't want to do any of it!" he snapped.

I was taken aback, and instantly, decided it would be best to ask something else. "Have you," I began, "Ever done something you strongly regret?"

"Plenty. Too much to think about."

Damn. How could I have thought that would have been a good question? "Well, do you have any friends here? Any people to talk to?"

"Sometimes I don't suppose I do."

The answer was somewhat expected, although I wasn't happy hearing it. Ville was a great looking guy, although it seemed he was a little shy and sheltered, it should not have stopped him from getting any friends. In an instant, I felt bad for him, and tried to put myself in that situation. I turned off the camera.

"I'll be your friend."


	6. Six: Trouble

"Happy birthday!"

It was the day I turned seventeen, being one of the youngest people already in my grade at school, and barely anyone was there to celebrate. April and Phil were there, of course, but it was quite lonely. Luckily for me, Raab invited himself over and burst in my room as I was reading, wishing me a happy birthday. Despite getting my wish, I still longed for someone else to be there.

"Thanks."

He walked closer, concern on his face, "What's the matter, Bam? You don't seem like yourself today. I mean, it's your birthday, you're a year older, but you're not supposed to act like you're thirty years older!"

I rolled my eyes, "Thanks. That makes me feel so much better."

"You're bummed."

"I just don't feel like today is any special."

"Come on, then. Get up, let's go cause some havoc for the people of West Chester!" Raab cried enthusiastically.

I sighed, placed my book down, and stood up. "Okay," I began, "Where to?"

"Grab your camera, let's go harass people at the grocery store."

"The grocery store? It's filled with parents and old people!"

"Exactly. It'll be fun."

I shrugged and decided to go with him, because filming ourselves being idiots would certainly have been a lot more fun on my birthday than sitting around and reading a book. We bounded down the stairs, and out the door before April could protest. Before we made it to the end of the yard, I realized that I left my jacket, and ran back for it.

It took quite a while before I emerged from the house again, still jacketless. The entire time I went back to university to retrieve my phone, I had forgotten my jacket was also still there. Either Jess dropped off my phone to Brandon and not my jacket, or Ville was somehow trying to get me to return. It was confusing to me, considering the man didn't necessarily seem to like me. Of course, I could have been subconsciously forgetting it so that I would return.

The walk to the store was not a long one, and as soon as we got there, Raab ran ahead and yelled to me, "Turn on your camera!"

"Got it." I did as instructed and followed.

"Come on Bam, hurry it up!"

I began to run a bit, catching up to Raab. Already he was dashing around, stealing items from peoples' carts and placing them into different shopping carts. As I focused on him with the camera, I noticed items being thrown off the shelves by Raab Himself. In my mind, that sounded cool; Raab Himself. Perhaps that would be the official name I'd call him by someday, instead of his legal name Chris Raab.

"Excuse me."

I heard someone talk behind me, and assuming they wanted by, I stood aside. When I actually turned to look, it was a security guard. "Are you the one causing all the trouble here tonight?"

I shook my head, but one glance at my camera and he knew I was involved. Raab came running back around the corner then, looking for me, but stopped dead in his tracks when he noticed the security guard. The guard escorted me toward Raab, and then grabbed us each by a shirt sleeve.

"I'm taking you to the security office."

"But why? We weren't doing anything!" Raab cried.

The guard looked at him sternly and said, "Our cameras, and I'm sure yours, say a different story."

This was certainly the way to spend my seventeenth birthday, possibly going to jail. The walk to the security office was not long, he just took us through some back doors and up a flight of stairs. The office was small, and there was one other officer in it, both watching cameras of stuff going on the store. As we walked in, the other officer turned around.

"I knew I recognized you. Margera and Raab."

Of course he recognized us, he was the one who caught us last time. "Hi, sir," I said with a look of defeat on my face.

"More trouble, I assume?"

Raab and I said nothing, so the first guard nodded. The sitting one motioned for us to come forward, and we did. "So," he began, "Shall I call your parents?"

I gulped, "If you must."

Luckily for us, this guard was unsure at all of our home phone numbers. He asked us to dial, and that's when I instead dialled Jess' number. After a moment, I heard an abrupt, _"Hello?"_ on the other end.

"Hello, is this Mr. Margera?" the guard asked.

"_One of them, why?"_

"We have Bam Margera here in custody. It is our duty to have you come pick him up to prevent more trouble."

There was a sigh, then, _"I'll be right there."_

Raab, unfortunately, had to call his parents. He had no old enough brothers or sisters to cover for him. It was a half hour before Jess arrived, and he had a hood over his head to prevent them from seeing how young he actually was. He didn't take me home, but straight back to his dorm room.


	7. Seven: World of Wonder

"You can stay here the night, I'll tell mom it's a birthday wish."

Laying back onto Jess' bed, I knew I could rely on him. He and I had always been there for each other, and he knew what it was like to be caught by security when doing something stupid. I could hear him talking to mom on the phone, and her voice on the other end seemed understanding. As he hung up, he turned toward me and grinned.

"Mom says it's okay. We've still got hours to kill now before we even consider going to bed, what do you want to do?"

I thought for a moment, "Can I go visit Brand?"

"Dico? What for?"

"I have my camera and he's always good for a stunt."

Jess nodded, "Go ahead."

I jumped up from his bed, and within moments was at the door. I opened it slightly before turning around quickly to thank him. Almost immediately, the door had been slammed and I was already on my way down the hall. Running up the stairs, I almost tripped once, but I kept my footing. I wasn't really on my way to see Brandon, I had more hoped to see Ville again.

Just as I reached the room, I turned the door knob to luckily find it open. Brandon looked up immediately as I walked in, and asked, "Bam, what are you doing here, kid?"

I smiled, "Almost got arrested. Jess came to the rescue."

"Almost got arrested?" His face was of pure shock, but quickly changed to the goofy grin of his that I had always known. "Good going!"

Taking a quick glance to my right, I noticed Ville was sitting there as usual, writing as I had always seen him do. With the amount of writing I had seen the man do, I was sure he could have published a songbook by now. I walked forward, and took a seat on Brandon's bed, smiling to the guy as I did so. He gave me a confused look, until realization hit him.

"Oh yeah, happy birthday!"

"Thanks. It's been hell of one."

"Have you had fun?"

"Actually," I began, "I really don't think so."

He raised an eyebrow, "You're not? You're seventeen for fuck's sake!"

"I know. I just...don't feel like myself lately."

Out of the corner of my eye, I noticed Ville glance over as I said that, but when I looked toward him, he was writing again. Part of me wished that Brandon would leave the room so I could talk to Ville, but he seemed content with where he was. An idea suddenly formed on my head, and I looked back at Brandon expectantly.

"Brand, I'm a little hungry. Do you think you can get me something to eat?"

"Why don't you get something?"

"I don't attend the university, they won't let me in the cafeteria."

He sighed, "Okay, give me fifteen minutes."

Brandon then stood up, and grabbing his wallet off his desk, he made his way toward the door. As soon as I heard the door shut, I turned my body on the bed so that I was facing Ville. He still never made any notice of me, so I twiddled my fingers for a moment. I then stood up, walked over, and sat myself on the end of Ville's bed, causing the man to look up.

"Happy birthday," he mumbled.

"Thanks, although it hasn't been the happiest."

"Why is that?"

"I don't know...I've felt lonely, and bored, I suppose..."

He looked at me as if he expected to hear more, so I continued, "I was wishing for someone to be there with me."

"Anyone in particular?"

I didn't know whether I wanted to tell him, but what came out of my mouth was out of my control. "I wish you had been there."

He just stared at me, showing no sign of surprised, and I had no idea what to say next. Instead, I inched myself closer and placed a small kiss on his lips. I barely understood why I did it, but I pulled away instantly. His eyes turned downward, as if he were embarrassed, so I began to turn to my left. As soon as my shoulder turned, he grabbed it, and turned me back toward him. I didn't expect him to pull me close and kiss me back.

This time, his lips parted and I could feel his tongue begging for entrance. I allowed it to him, and as I shared my first kiss with a guy, I felt as if I were in heaven. His arm snaked around my waist, and he pulled my body even closer to his. I could feel him pushing me back onto the mattress in the passion of the moment, and suddenly his lips left mine and attached to my neck. There was barely any time for him to complete the task, as we heard the door creak.

Sitting ourselves up again, I watched as Brandon walked in with a brown paper bag. "Hey Bam, I got your...you look flushed, what's going on?"

"Nothing," I said quickly.

"Are you sure?" he asked, then waving it off. "Oh well, here's your food."

"Thanks," I replied as I got off Ville's bed and returned to Brandon's.


	8. Eight: I'm Looking Through You

"Woah, woah, woah. Bam, what is that?"

Raab and I were sitting in my room a week later, watching the stuff we had filmed at the grocery store. I had to wait a week to watch it with him, as he was grounded, and I would never watch our footage without him. Turning to the screen, my eyes went wide. It appeared I hadn't turned the camera off at all that day, because on the TV screen was me and Ville making out.

"Uh...that? It was a...dare!"

"Bam, I'm no fool. You're fucking making out with him!"

"I..." I had no idea what to say.

"Look!" he cried, pointing to where Ville was laying me down on the bed. "You're enjoying it! You didn't tell me you're a fucking fag."

"I'm not! There's a such thing as bisexual, dumbass!"

Raab was quiet for a moment before saying, "I'm sorry. I was just surprised."

"It's okay, Raab. I didn't want to tell anyone before I was sure."

"And...?"

"I'm sure I'm bisexual. When Ville kissed me...I felt better than ever."

I thought to myself at that moment. I had thoughts ever since I met Ville about him and about men, but I had no way of being sure. I was sure now that I had got the kiss. I barely knew the guy, and I was ready to let him take me that afternoon. I would have let him do whatever he wanted to me, and I was unsure of why I would definitely let him do it.

"You love him, dude."

I turned my attention back to Raab, "What? No, I don't. I barely know him."

"Your face says otherwise. I know love when I see it."

This was the first time I saw Raab being completely serious about something. Other than the first time he fucked someone, of course. It was odd to see such concern and truth in my best friend's face, but it was somewhat comforting. Ville's face hadn't left my mind for more than a few minutes since I met him, and now he was the only thing I could think of.

"Y-you think so?" I stuttered out.

Raab nodded, "There's no mistaking it, Bam."

I glanced back at the TV, to see more footage I had filmed a week back. This time it was just myself eating the dinner that Brandon had brought to me, and feeling bored with seeing myself eat, I shut the TV and the camera off. When I looked back at Raab, he still looked as serious as before, and I was unsure of what to say next. He noticed that I was confused.

"Maybe you should call him?"

"I can't. I don't know his number...I don't even know if he has a phone."

"Well, he goes to West Chester U, right?"

I nodded, so my friend continued, "Then ask Jess when the next party is."

"Ville doesn't go to parties."

"That," he began with a grin, "Is why you sneak away from the party."

It was shocking to me how right Raab was, and how his plan could actually work. After all, my jacket was still in Jess' room, and I had to return to the university at some time or another to retrieve it. Seeing as it was now early October, the weather would start to get slightly colder, and I would have a need for my jacket anyway. I grabbed my cell phone out of my pocket, and dialled the number of my brother's cell.

"Jess?" I asked as soon as heard the phone pick up.

"_Bam? Is that you? Why are you calling?"_

"Quicker than email."

"_What do you want?"_

"When is the next party? Raab and I," I said, even as Raab shook his head toward me, "Are interested in having some fun."

"_Friday, so six days from now. Do you want me to pick you up then?"_

"No thanks, we'll fare on our own."

After I hung up the phone, I lay down on my bed and smiled victoriously. In less than a week, my best friend and I would be partying with university students, and I would get to see my Ville again. I stopped in thought; my Ville? Since when had he become "my Ville"? Considering I was his only friend, I felt he wouldn't have minded had he heard the thought, so I turned my direction back to Raab. His wide eyes were piercing me.

"Why did you say I'm going?"

"Because you are."

"No, dude. I don't want to be there."

"Free booze?"

I saw him stop to think a moment, before replying, "Fine, I'll go."

At that moment, I felt proud to have a best friend who was addicted to alcohol. Not only would I feel strange being at the party alone, but he would get something out of it, too. All I had to do then was think of what I would do in order to get away from the party, and what I would say to Ville when I finally saw him. I didn't think, "Fuck me ruthlessly," would be appropriate.


	9. Nine: Talk Dirty to Me

"Are you sure you don't want me to drive you?"

Raab and I were ready to leave to the university, claiming it was another simple visit with Jess, when April noticed us leaving. We explained to her where we were off to, and she suggested that either she or Phil drive us. I grabbed the van keys off the table in the kitchen, dangling them before her, saying only that I could take care of myself.

"Okay then, have fun."

"Don't worry, Ape," I began. "We intend to."

We ran out of the house and straight to the van, Raab jumping into the passenger seat as I ran around the other side to the driver's seat. I started up the car, and as we pulled out of the drive way, Raab turned on the radio. It took him a moment to find a good station, as Phil had changed the station since I last drove the van, but as soon as he did, he cranked it.

Both of us wore great smiles as we drove toward the university, and Raab seemed more excited now than he was a week ago. Perhaps it was because he knew that within twenty minutes, he would be boozing it up, and possibly getting completely hammered. My smile was for a completely different reason, because as I was sure that I would have a drink or two, I was looking forward to seeing the man who plagued my dreams.

Earlier in the week, Jess had emailed me all the details. The party this time was in Rake Yohn's room, which was only three down from Brandon and Ville's. It seemed that luck was on my side, as it would be a lot easier to slip into room 341 from just down the hall than from another floor. As we entered the university and climbed the stairs, I could feel my blood tingling already.

I knocked on the door of room 347, and the person to answer luckily was Ryan. "Hey guys, come on in!"

"Thanks," I said as we walked in.

This party was certainly different than Jess'. There were plenty more people, and it seemed there was plenty more alcohol as well. Raab and I went straight for the cooler, and each got a bottle, before leaning back onto the wall and watching the scene. Nobody paid attention to us, because we were, "just kids," but it didn't seem to be an entire problem. Eventually, Raab wandered off, joining a group who were playing drinking games.

Once I realized that I was all alone, I decided it was the perfect time to sneak off. Making sure that nobody noticed, I slipped away through the door, which I opened only very slightly. Only a couple seconds later, I found myself at the door of Ville and Brandon's room. I knocked, but there was as usual no answer, so I turned the knob. It was locked.

"Is anyone in there?" I asked, quietly but also loud enough for someone to hear. "It's me, Bam. I want inside."

I waited another minute before I heard the lock click. Turning the knob, I found myself in a dark room. "I know you're here, Ville."

"On the bed."

I nodded, although I knew he couldn't see me, and he asked, "What are you doing here?"

"I came to a party with a friend."

"Is that all?"

I was silent a moment, before admitting, "No. I came to see you, mostly."

"I was hoping you were going to say that."

I was grinning when he said that, feeling thankful that my feelings were returned, or at least that he wanted me there as well. I made my way slowly toward his bed, feeling around for it. As my hand touched to the end of the mattress, I felt his hand cover up mine and guide it closer to him. I climbed onto the bed, and sat right before him, his hand still holding mine.

"What exactly did you have in mind?" he asked me.

"I…" I hadn't thought about it, "Am not sure, really."

"Then you wouldn't mind if I took control?"

I shook my head, "No. Go ahead."

Although I could see nothing and I couldn't feel it either, I was sure that he had nodded to my reply. At first, I felt nothing, but his hand then let go of mine and moved up my arm. His touch was soft, and I felt sensational. As soon as he reached my shoulder, he gave a slight push. I welcomed the touch, and found myself slowly falling backwards onto the bed.

Ville climbed right on top of me, and pressed his body onto mine. In an instant, I felt his lips on my neck, tasting the skin and nibbling whenever he got the chance. All I could do was moan, as I had no idea what else to do. My mind was concentrated on the pleasure he was giving me, and I could not think about anything else. Suddenly, I nearly jumped, as his other hand trailed up my thigh.

"Oh God, Ville…this feels so good…"

He grinned into my neck, and his hand snaked up higher on my thigh. My skin tingled all over and I was nearly gasping for breath when at the same time as he bit down hard on my neck, his hand began to touch my manhood. I knew he could feel it, as even I could, and I longed for him to do more. My wish was granted, as he unzipped my jeans, and slinked inside my boxers.

Soon enough, I could feel the pleasure building up inside me. "Ville," I breathed out, "I'm gonna…I'm gonna…"

Before I had the time to say it, I knew I was releasing my seed. He briefly kissed me softly on the lips, and collapsed on me. The two of us lay there for what seemed like hours, and eventually turned around on the bed, and snuggled up together under the blankets. It felt so nice to fall asleep in his arms.


	10. Ten: The Thin Ice

"What the fuck went on in here?"

I opened my eyes to Brandon and Jess standing at the end of the bed, looks of shock and disgust on their faces. I glanced to my left for a moment, to see Ville laying beside me, and I remembered everything. Of course, they had no idea what had actually gone on in the night, but the fact that I was cuddled up to Ville was enough to alert them that it hadn't been a perfectly calm night.

"Good morning, guys," I said groggily, looking to my right and noticing Raab passed out on Brandon's bed. I then turned back toward the older guys.

"What are you doing in his bed? With him?" Jess asked.

I had no idea what to say, so I kept my mouth shut. My brother realized this, and rolled his eyes. "Please don't say it."

"Say what?"

"That you slept with him!"

My eyes widened, "No! No, Jess, I didn't sleep with him. I promise."

Deciding that I was still too sleepy to deal with it, I lay back down, resting my head beside Ville's. I could hear Jess and Brandon arguing as I closed my eyes, but I attempted to block out any further sounds. The only thing I could and wanted to hear was the beating heart of the man beside me, and it made me smile. We hadn't fucked, although I decided then that I didn't want him to fuck me, anyway. I wanted him to make love to me.

It was also confusing since I had met the guy only a month and a half earlier, but already, I felt so comfortable with him. Laying there, with his arm draped over me, I didn't want to be anywhere else. Before I knew it, with a smile still on my face, I was falling asleep again, thoughts of Ville filling my head. Our scene together the previous night replayed for me, but it went farther.

"Yo, earth to Bam, are you in there?"

I awoke to Raab poking me in the side, and asked, "What do you want?"

"It's almost one in the afternoon. We should get going."

"I don't wanna."

"Then I'll go wait in the van," he began, "So that you two can have a little bit of time alone. Okay?"

I nodded and watched as my best friend left the room. As soon as the door shut, Ville opened his eyes and smiled at me. "Good friend."

I nodded, "One of the best."

"How much time do you think he'll give us?"

"Not a lot. He'll get images he doesn't want to see."

Ville moved closer and began to nibble up on my ear, before whispering to me, "Come back next weekend."

I nodded, not even questioning whether we would be completely alone. Ville, if he really wanted me there, would be sure that nobody would be around at the time. After all, when people were around, he ignored me. Letting him arouse me just a slight bit more, I sat up and yawned. Figuring that I had to go, he sat up with me, and gave me a light kiss on my lips. I smiled before I stood.

"I'll be back for sure."

Walking out to the van, I noticed that it was raining. Cursing myself for not asking Jess for my jacket, I considered turning around, but decided against it as I was sure to be questioned about the previous night. Sucking it up and walking through the showers, I eventually reached the van, drenched. Raab gave one look at me and laughed, and I rolled my eyes.

"So how did your night go?" he asked.

I sat back a moment before starting up, smiling, and replied, "Wonderful."

I don't know whether it was because Raab was in a hurry, or he didn't want details, but he pointed to the steering wheel and said, "Start it up."

"So how drunk did you get?" I finally asked.

"I don't even remember!"

"Do you remember how you got to Brand's room?"

"No!"

Even while driving, with the radio blaring and Raab laughing about whatever he thinks about, I couldn't get Ville out of my head; those green eyes, his long hair, and the soft touch of his hands. I could feel myself getting hard from my thoughts, and attempted to think of something else, but it was useless. Nothing else wanted in my brain, and my brain wanted nothing else in it.

Finally, we reached my house, and I turned off the van. Raab and I both sat there a moment, doing nothing, and taking breaths before going inside. We had told April that we would be home earlier than we were, so although Raab was not her son, we were both looking at a lecture. Eventually, we figured it would be best to get it over with, so we exited the vehicle and entered the house.

"Brandon Cole Margera!"

I almost flinched; I hated when she used my real name. "What, Ape?"

"Where were you? You were supposed to be home hours ago!"

"We got caught up in having fun."

"Why didn't you call me then? I was worried sick about you!"

I rolled my eyes and grabbed Raab's arm, pulling him up to my bedroom. As much as I was required sometimes to listen to April bitch and complain, I just needed to relax. I'm sure Raab had a hangover, as well, and wanted quiet.


	11. Eleven: Gimme Gimme Good Lovin'

"What time are you going to be back?"

It was the next Saturday, and I was telling April about going to see Ville. Of course, I told her that he was a school friend, and I was only sleeping the night at his place. She was a little confused, as she'd never heard of him before, but let me go anyway. As I was about to walk out the door, she bombarded me with more questions, causing me to roll my eyes.

"I don't know. Don't worry, okay? I'll be fine."

"I will be calling your cell phone."

"Then I'll make sure to keep alert."

With that, I walked out the door, closing it behind me. It was another cooler October day, and I had wished that again I hadn't forgotten my jacket. Maybe this time I would actually swing by Jess' room to grab it, if he hadn't already given it to a friend in need. Perhaps maybe Ville had a jacket that I could borrow. The guy never went anywhere, so he wouldn't have use for one.

In the past two months, I had driven the van around so much more than I had before, people actually assumed I'd been a licensed driver for a few years. Being only seventeen, that was impossible, but it still put a boost in my self-esteem. When I finally got to the university, I debated on whether to open the door to the room, or knock first. I decided to knock.

"It's Bam," I said as I knocked, and heard a faint, "Come in."

I opened the door, stepped inside, and closed the door behind me. Almost in an instant, I had Ville's body pushing mine into the door, and his hand snaked down to the knob to lock it. He took my lips in a passionate kiss almost immediately, and I was responding before I could process what was going on. His hands were already everywhere, and in a matter of moments, it had already felt like we had spent hours together.

Breaking the kiss, I breathed out, "Ville...please do one thing for me..."

"What is it?"

"When you...take me...don't just fuck me...make love to me."

He was silent a moment before whispering in my ear, "I wouldn't dream of doing anything else to you."

I then could feel is lips nibbling my ear, then trailing down my neck. His hands were on my waist, holding my arousal against his, and I felt as if I were going to burst. I desperately wanted to check the time, to see if it had really been hours or only minutes, but the pleasure overcame that. I whispered to him to move to the bed, so he turned me around and moved me backwards until pushing me down on the bed.

Almost instantly, he was on top of me, and I found myself drifting to another place. This was all so much, the beauty of it was driving me away. I felt I wasn't doing enough, so I pulled my neck away from Ville. He gave me a questioning look, so I started to bite back at his neck. He let out a deep moan, and I felt proud for being able to do that to him. His hands then began to fumble at my jeans, and soon after, I felt him grab my arousal.

I moaned into his neck, which must have turned him on more, because he began to move faster in his actions. Finally, he pulled up from me a moment, so he could concentrate on getting his own pants off. As he did that, I removed my shirt, and he removed his as well. Pushing himself back down on me, I felt even more spectacular, as the skin on skin felt amazing. I was still unsure of what I was doing, but I know I arched my back when he inserted two fingers in me.

It was the first time I had ever had anything in there, and it felt too wonderful for words. I wished that he would replace his fingers with something else, and quickly, but I could not manage to get the words out of my mouth. I hadn't any need to say anything, though, as Ville removed his fingers and began to position himself beneath me.

"Are you sure you want to?" he asked.

I nodded, "More than anything."

No other answer would have been acceptable to him, and he pushed inside me in an instant. At first, all I could feel was pain, but as he began to pump himself inside and out, the pain was replaced with undeniable pleasure. I was gasping nearly every second, attempting to get some hold on breathing properly. As he continued to make love to me, I decided to return to favour and began to buck my hips more, bringing him farther inside me.

"Bam...oh fuck...Bam..."

Hearing my name on his lips, coming out in a thick Finnish accent, turned me on even more. I knew I was close to the end, but I wished it would last longer. Just as I spilled my seed all over his chest above me, I could feel him release inside of me. He collapsed right on top of me, the both of us naked and sweating. We lay there like that for a minute, before he removed himself from me, and rolled off of me.

Smiling at me, he asked, "How was that?"

"It was..." I had to think of words, "Spectacular."

He snaked an arm around me, and held me close. Very quietly, on the tip of his tongue, I could hear him whisper, "I love you, Bam."

My heart almost melted as I replied, "I love you, too."

I could tell that his heart was melting, too. It hadn't been too long ago that he told me how his love was never returned, and now I was there to love him. The sex was more amazing than any sex I'd ever had, but I did not automatically assume that maybe I was gay because of it. My first thought was that it was so amazing just because it was with Ville.

We lay there together for the equivalent of an hour, speaking little to each other, before we clothed ourselves. The last thing we wanted was Brandon or one of his friends to walk in and see us naked together in bed. The next morning, before I left to go home, I asked Ville for a jacket.


	12. Twelve: Only Women Bleed

"That's a new jacket, isn't it, Bam?"

When I returned home, I was wearing the jacket Ville had given me. It was long and black, made out of a material that wasn't leather but felt very close, and had lapels. It reminded me slightly of a blazer or suit jacket, but at the same time, it was much more down to earth. It was definitely different than any other jacket I'd worn, but it was very comfortable.

"Uh, yeah. Ville gave it to me."

I attempted to head up to my room, but I was stopped by April behind me. "Bam, I got a call from your math teacher today. Apparently, you're failing."

"Am I?"

It wasn't really a surprise to me, as I hated math and nearly refused to do the work, but I didn't want April to know that. She nodded, "Yes, horribly."

"I'll try better."

"I think you'd best spend more time at home and do your work. Every day after school you're out with Chris!"

"Because I have fun with Raab."

"Well, starting Monday, you're going to be spending more time at home."

I rolled my eyes at her before walking away. I didn't think she would actually go through with it, but my thoughts were proven wrong when she refused to let me out, or let Raab in. Weekdays were now for studying, which was annoying me to an extreme, and I was only able to go out on weekends. The first weekend I spent with Raab, but after that, I managed to split my time so I could hang out, and still go see Ville at WCU.

Ville and I often had little time to ourselves, two hours at the most, but we attempted to make the best of it. Not often did we go as far as we had the one night, but we still managed to pleasure each other. Sometimes, the time we spent together was al talking, going on about what was happening lately, and generally just getting to know each other better.

His twentieth birthday was coming up, and I was hoping to do something special. Luckily, his birthday was a Friday, so I could spend the night with him. I had spent two weeks planning how it would go. Everything felt perfect in my mind, when three days before the Friday, I woke up in the morning with a sickly feeling in my stomach. Immediately, I ran to the bathroom and vomited.

I was upset that perhaps I may be sick for Ville's birthday, but that's all I assumed it was; that I was sick. The action repeated itself the next two mornings, but I didn't care. I was not going to sacrifice my lover's birthday just because I had a stomach bug. I was out of the house by later Friday evening, and got to the university just in time.

Beforehand, I had bought Ville a present, which was a fuchsia silk blouse, and when he unwrapped it, a look of awe was on his face. "Thank you so much, Bammie. It's beautiful."

After that, he made love to me as thanks. Because it was his birthday, I decided to make love to him as well, and it felt wonderful. It was my first time doing it to a man, but somehow, I felt as if I already knew how to do everything. Our love making went on late into the night, even early morning, while Brandon was hanging out in Jess' room with the guys.

"Bam, are you okay?"

I awoke the next morning feeling very sick, and running from the room. When I returned, Ville looked both frightened and concerned. "It's okay. Just the flu."

"How long have you been sick?"

"Four days now. I guess that's what I get for disregarding the weather."

"You should have told me. You didn't have to come."

Seeing the look of guilt on his face, I pressed a kiss to his lips. "I wanted to come. More than anything, I wanted to be with you."

That made him smile, although I could still tell that he felt bad for my illness. I didn't care that I was sick, as it didn't affect me at all, so I reassured him that everything would be okay. I had no idea that at the time, it was still the beginning. For the entire next week, I continued to get sick. Ville sent me emails to ask how I was, and I lied, telling him I felt just fine.

It was a mid-December afternoon when I vomited again that April noticed. "Bam, are you feeling okay?"

"Peachy," I replied, knowing my face was selling me out.

"You've been so sick. Let me take you to a doctor."

I shook my head, "No, Ape. You know I hate doctors. It's just a flu, I will be fine in no time."

Straight after that, I had gone to see Ville again. I knew that I looked exhausted and worn out, but I assured Ville that I was no longer sick, just very tired from spending hours awake at night studying. I was unsure if he bought it or not, but nonetheless, decided to make me feel better by making love to me. That would be the last time in a long time, though we had no idea.

"Bam, what the fuck?!"

I awoke the next morning to Brandon standing over the bed, observing Ville and I naked together under the sheets. I smiled, "Hi, Brand."

"Don't 'hi' me right now, Bam. Get out. Please."

I had no idea why he was so angry, but I felt the need to leave anyway. The bile was already on it's way up my throat as I reached the door, and before I had the chance to turn the knob, I vomited on the floor. Ville shot up in the bed, and looked over at me on the floor. Both men looked frightened.


	13. Thirteen: Revelations

"Bammie, I thought you weren't sick anymore."

I sat myself down beside the pile of puke, and leaned against the wall. I closed my eyes a moment, trying to relax and get everything in, but it wasn't working well. When I opened my eyes, there was Brandon still standing over me, and Ville sitting in bed, his eyes wide with concern for me. I took in a breath, vomited a slight bit more, and then turned back to the guys.

"I guess I still am."

Brandon looked confused, "You were sick?"

I nodded, "Yeah, brutally. I think I might like Ape take me to a doctor."

"Bammie," Ville began, "How long have you still been sick?"

"Um...about a month."

"A month!"

"You really should go to a doctor," Brandon told me then. "If you don't, then everyone's gonna assume you're pregnant."

"Don't be silly, Brand. Guys can't get pregnant."

The faces that Ville and Brandon exchanged, probably the only time I'd ever seen them look at each other, worried me. It was as if there was bad news to be given, but neither knew how to tell me. I gulped, and closed my eyes, hoping it was all a dream and that I'd wake up in Ville's arms. When I opened my eyes, I felt let down, as I still noticed the two worried men.

"Uh, Bam," Brandon began, "There's something we learned recently here at school. Something that was taught to us."

Confused, I asked, "What?"

Ville then took the time to speak, "Bammie, I thought you knew."

"Knew what?"

"That guys..." Brandon began.

"That guys what?"

"Guys can get pregnant, too!"

It was at that moment that I felt my eyes roll into the back of my head, and I fainted against the wall. I awoke to Ville, who was then fully clothed in black pants and the shirt I gave him, holding me on the bed. He was sitting and I was laying before him, head in his lap, as he ran his fingers through my hair. I noticed Brandon pacing the room, looking as if he was both angry and worried.

"Bammie," Ville said, "You're awake."

A whole wave of thoughts went through my head as I was able to think again. Guys could get pregnant? Why hadn't Ville said something? Of course, he thought I had known about it. He probably assumed someone had told me, and that I was on some sort of pill. Upon hearing Ville's words, Brandon looked over toward the bed and his face lit up.

"You are awake! Are you okay?"

I nodded, "Yeah, I think so. My head hurts, though."

"That's what happens when you faint onto a wall."

"It's not like I planned it."

Another thought went through my head. I was more than likely pregnant. An unplanned pregnancy with a guy. April was unaware that I was even having sex, least of all with a guy. How would I break the news to my family? It was all so overwhelming, and I could feel myself pass out again, but this time in Ville's lap. When I awoke, Jess was also in the room. I sat up, taking a moment to do so as I was very dizzy.

"Bam, are you okay?" my brother asked.

It seemed like the only thing people wanted to ask me, but I replied, "I think so, other than for my pounding head."

"Bam," he began very seriously, "Dico just told me some...shocking news."

"Yes? That is?"

I already knew what he was talking about, but I felt the need to question him. It was either that I had been sleeping with Ville, or that I may be pregnant. No matter, I somewhat knew what he was going to say. In my mind, alert sirens kept going off, warning me, but I ignored them. I had to tell Jess the truth, he was my brother; the same guy who was always there for me.

"That you and him have...uh, been sleeping together...and that you might be...pregnant."

"That sounds about right."

"Bam...how long has this been going on?"

"The sickness or the...sex?"

Eyes wide, Jess cried, "Both!"

"Um...well the sex has been going on for about two months now," I told him, taking a breath as I noticed him shudder, "And the sickness for about a month."

I could tell that Jess was angry, but his worry overcame that. As his younger brother, he felt the duty to look out for me, and me getting myself pregnant was certainly outside those lines. I felt a little guilty for a moment, then just stupid for not being aware. Either way, though, I knew it didn't change my feelings.

"Okay Bam," Jess said, "We won't tell mom, but you're going to a doctor."


	14. Fourteen: Softer, Softest

"Yes, Mr. Margera. It does seem that you are indeed pregnant."

I groaned. Jess had decided to take me to a doctor, to make sure about all of it. We described to him the symptoms, then he did a test with an ultrasound. Clear as day, I saw the little thing on a screen that would be my baby. There was a distinct tenseness in the room, I could feel it. I had wished that Ville was there, but Jess drew the line there. He wasn't about to trust Ville at all.

"May I ask if the father is aware?"

I nodded, "He knows."

"That's good. I assume he is going to stay involved?"

"I...hope so."

"Okay, Brandon," he began, using my real name, "The first thing I suggest we do is get you onto some pre-natal vitamins. That is, if you are keeping it?"

I nodded, "I could never give it up."

"That's very responsible of you. We need to keep you healthy, and as well, you're going to want to come back every month for a check up."

Again, I nodded. It had only been a week since the news of male pregnancy was given to me, and it was all overwhelming. I had chosen to keep my baby, and if April and Phil weren't going to help me with it, I told myself that I would move out. I hadn't been able to talk to Ville at all about it, as Jess and Brandon were making us keep distance, but I hoped he would stay involved.

After the doctor gave me the pre-natal vitamins, and a list of foods I should stray away from in order not to get heartburn, Jess and I left. He drove me home, the entire ride silent, and I locked myself in my room as soon as I got there. I desperately wanted to call Raab about it, but I was unsure as to how he may take the news. Deciding not to for the time being, I shut off my light to take a short nap before dinner.

"Bam, wake up. Dinner is ready."

I was awoken an hour later to April shaking me. I was still craving more sleep, but just as much, I was craving food, so I slowly and groggily got up off the bed. When I got downstairs, the smell of roast beef tinted through my nose, and I felt so relieved. Not only was I allowed to eat roast beef with no problem, but it happened to be one of my favourite foods. As soon as I sat down in the dining room, I ravaged through my dinner quickly.

"That was fast," Phil stated.

"I was hungry."

"Did you eat nothing while with Jess today?" April asked.

"A lit bit, but not much."

It wasn't a lie. I had an entire meal while with Jess, but a normal sized meal for myself. To feed my baby, I would need more than I had eaten then, but Jess was low on money and I wasn't going to bother him for any more. Now being nine months pregnant, I was looking forward to eating more, and I wished that my parents would understand. Of course, I was going to hold off telling them.

"I'll have to tell that boy to feed his brother properly."

"Don't worry about it, Ape. I'm fine now that I've had dinner."

It was true, I was feeling a lot better since I had eaten dinner. The only thing I wanted now to do was talk to Ville. I excused myself from the table, and as soon as I got to my room, began typing an email. I still hadn't even asked if Ville had a phone, but I could care less, considering email worked fine for us. Only once had I ever seen his laptop, but I knew he used it often.

Just as soon as I sent the email, I grabbed my wallet and began to count the money I had inside it. Only four more days, and it would be Christmas, and I wanted to be sure I had enough money for presents. I usually wasn't a huge person for Christmas presents, but I dearly wanted to give one to Ville, as well as suck up to Jess and maybe get him on my good side again. As much as he'd been helping me out as of late, he hadn't been too happy with me.

"Thirty dollars? I need to get a job," I mumbled to myself.

I swiped all my change back together, and shoved it all back into my wallet. It seemed that either I would have to do a lot of sucking up to April and Phil for money, or do all my shopping at the dollar store. Just as I sighed and was about to lay down on my bed, I heard a sound from my computer, indicating that I had a new email. Immediately, I jumped up to check. It was from Ville.

_Bammie,  
I don't care that you're pregnant. I love you either way. Seeing as this was partially my fault, I promise to be there every step of the way. I doubt we will be seeing much of each other here, so I have decided to look for an apartment and move out of student housing. After all, with a baby on the way, I certainly will not be returning to Finland when I complete school. I would love to see you sometime around Christmas, perhaps Christmas Eve? Get back to me._

_Ville  
xx_

My face lit up after reading that, and to no one at all, I replied to the message aloud, "Christmas Eve it is."

After a long night of reading, and research on the internet about male pregnancies, I decided to watch some TV. I switched on my TV and began flipping channels, too lazy to find a program guide and actually read what would be on. A sad feeling came to the pit of my stomach, realizing that once I was heavily pregnant, this was probably how I would spend my days. For a moment, I glanced over at the phone. I considered calling Raab, but I was unsure what to say to him. Eventually, since he was my best friend, I gave in.

Dialling the number and hearing it pick up, I asked, "Raab, is that you? I have something important to tell you."


	15. Fifteen: Ain't That Unusual

"Wow, I had no idea it was even possible!"

It was by then the next day, and Raab was sitting on my bed as I explained to him everything. Although I had never told him straight up about it, he had already assumed that Ville and I slept together, so that part was not much a shock to him. After the previous night on the phone, though, he wanted to know everything that was going on. At first, he had assumed I was joking.

"Me either."

"So," he began, "Who knows about it?"

I thought for a moment, "Me, you, Ville, Jess, and Brand."

"Are you going to tell your parents?"

"Fuck no! They would completely flip out, and I'm not risking it."

"Where will you live, then? Seeing as they will notice the bump after a while."

"Ville's getting an apartment as soon as he can," I explained. "As well as I know Life Partner has an apartment in Philly."

That was someone I hadn't seen in a long time. Life Partner was Brandon Novak, or just Novak. He was the same age as Jess, although he had never got along with Jess. They met in kindergarten and quarrelled ever since. I met Novak when I was in second grade, because the third grade class was stuck with ours for a day. We hit it off right away, and until he had gone away to get a job, we had been inseparable.

"Dude, if you move in with Novak, I wanna come too!"

I laughed, "I haven't even told him the news yet. Wait a little bit."

"How do you think he's gonna take the news?"

"I wouldn't be surprised if he doesn't care. The man is fully gay."

Raab nodded, muttering, "I'll never understand it."

He had been speaking about the attraction to men. Raab surrounded himself with me and Novak throughout middle school and high school, and although I hadn't found out until recently that I was bisexual, Raab had noted before that the signs were always there. After Novak admitted to being gay a few years back, he assumed I was always attracted to Life Partner. When he more recently asked, I told him I never was, and that Ville was the first.

"Just imagine the way you feel about any girl."

Raab nodded, before saying, "Hey, why don't you call Novak up now? Maybe we can go out and see him sometime soon if you do."

I hadn't thought about it, but it was a good idea. Instantly, I grabbed my phone and dialled the number of Novak's apartment. _"Hey?"_ I heard on the other end.

"Life Partner, it's Bam."

"_Hey, long time no talk buddy. How are you?"_

"Going through a lot of shit."

"_Please don't say drugs...I don't want you making the same mistake..."_

Grinning to myself, I replied, "No, stupid. I'm smarter than that."

"_Then what's up?"_

"I'm...uh...pregnant."

There was silence for a bit. I assumed Novak was surprised, and trying to think of what to say. Shuffling was heard slightly on the other end, giving me the thought that he was pacing around the room. I could also hear a bit of whispering, as well. It was then that I began to feel worried, and Raab noticed this, thus causing him to shoot me a concerned face.

"_Dude, please tell me you're joking."_

"Sorry, Novak. I'm not kidding. I'm really having a baby."

"_Good wishes to you."_

The conversation didn't continue much longer. Novak was in need of sleep, apparently, and hung up. I was unsure if he was angry with me or whatnot, but at the time, it wasn't the thought on my mind. During the talk, I got the sudden thought of a growing belly. How would I conceal that from April and Phil? They, especially April, would notice right away. I sighed and lay back on my bed, having Raab watch me for a moment.

"It's okay, Bam. You'll get through it."

"How will I hide it?"

"Wear more sweaters. That'll keep you covered until at least March."

I sighed. It seemed as if I would have to either fess up or find another place to live before March. That was only three months away, getting close to two. With Christmas only three days away, everything was becoming so much for confusing for me. I still hadn't done any shopping, and decided against it. I only had little money, and wanted only to buy Ville something.

"I guess that could work," I told him.

"Of course it could work. In the meantime...just live through Christmas vacation, please?"

I laughed, "I plan to."

At that moment, I heard a ringing sound coming from across the room. Raab and I jumped up to answer my phone, both freezing when we saw the ID. "Bam," Raab began, "It's Jess calling."


	16. Sixteen: All Apologies

"What do you want, Jess?"

It was the first time my brother had attempted to call me in the last week, other than to schedule my doctor's appointment. He was still angry with me for sneaking around behind his back, as well as getting myself into such a predicament as unplanned pregnancy, with an adult no less. Either way, I hadn't care. I just wished that Jess would get over it.

"_Bam, I want to apologize."_

"Apologize?"

"_Yes, for the way I have been acting."_

"Yeah, you've been kinda a dick lately."

"_I know. And I want you to know that although I don't agree with this one bit, I will be there to support you, because you're my brother."_

"Thanks," I replied. "I really need you, Jess."

"_I know you do. It will get worse before it gets better."_

I knew he was right. Every problem gets worse before it gets better, but teenage pregnancy was high up there on the list. I knew a couple girls at school who were forced to move out because their parents didn't understand about their pregnancies. Still I had no idea what Phil and April would say about me being pregnant, but it was nice to know I had Jess looking out for me. As well as Ville, who was permanently moving to the States to be with me.

"I know. I'm prepared...sorta."

"_No one's ever prepared for this, Bam. Even if they're ready, never are they truly prepared for what it'll bring."_

"I know...I guess I mean that I have some options ahead of me, like where I'll live and whatnot."

"_Where have you thought of to live?"_

"Either Novak's or with Ville, who is looking for a place to live."

I heard him scoff when I mentioned Novak, and groan about Ville, but he replied to me, _"I just hope you're happy with wherever you choose."_

"I will be, don't worry."

Hanging up the phone, I placed it on my computer desk, and sat on my bed. Raab was busy watching TV, obviously letting me have privacy for the time of my phone call. I sighed, knowing that I was clearly in over my head. Being a seventeen year old boy with the love for taking risks, it would be particularly difficult for me to carry a baby to term, much less actually raise it. I ran a hand through my hair, before joining Raab.

"Jess apologized."

He smiled, "That's great!"

"Yeah, only problem is he's given me the insight to know this will be hard."

"You already knew that."

"It's gonna be harder then I can imagine. I'm too lively for this. I don't know how to cook! How will I feed a baby? I've also never changed a diaper!"

"Calm down," Raab began. "You are going to get through this."

Hearing that from Raab was a reassurance. As much as the guy was my best friend, he never lied to me. If he wanted to tell me something, as much as it may hurt or kill me inside, he would still do it. I smiled to him, and randomly an idea came to my head. As he smiled back, I picked up my pillow, and swung it straight toward him, knocking him off the bed.

"Oh, you're gonna get it now," he told me.

Picking up the pillow from where it landed, he swung it right back at me, knocking me onto my back. I retaliated by throwing it back yet again, and Raab burst out laughing. The laughter also came from my throat, and before we knew it, we were both sitting around laughing instead of doing anything productive. When we finally calmed down, I shook my head.

"We're a bunch of goofs."

He nodded, "But it's fun that way."

"Agreed!"

I then stood up and walked up to my door, grabbing my sweater from it. Again, I had forgotten to grab my jacket from the university. It was deep into winter, and although we had little snow, the weather was still cold. Pulling the hoodie over my head, I turned to Raab, motioning for him to grab his jacket. He did so, and then stood up along with me.

"Where are we going?" he asked.

I shrugged, "Out somewhere. Anywhere. I don't really care where."

Walking out my bedroom door, Raab followed me, and we made it downstairs. April and Phil were in the living room, reading the newspaper and drinking coffee, and they never even noticed us pass. I went into the kitchen first to grab a box of cookies, seeing as I was hungry and so was the baby. As I came from the kitchen, April then stood and began to walk my way.

"Bam, where are you going?"

"Raab and I are going out somewhere. We'll be back later."

"Okay," she said, smiling, "Have fun, and be careful."

"Don't worry, Ape. I will!" I said as we ran out the door.


	17. Seventeen: Makes Me Happy

"I can't wait to see what it looks like."

I was laying down on Ville's bed in his room, propped up against the man himself, who was sitting. My stomach hadn't grown yet, it was not noticeable at all, but that didn't stop the older man from rubbing it and massaging it. Holding his hands on it, he spoke to me about the baby inside. I had felt negatively about the entire thing, until Ville acted so lovingly about it.

"Me either," I replied to him.

"I'm sorry about it, though."

I turned my head upwards to see him, "Don't be. As long as I have you by my side, there is nothing at all to be sorry for."

"I love you, Bammie."

"I love you too, Willa."

Giving him a quick kiss on the lips, I sat up and bounded toward the door. He seemed confused, so I told him, "I brought you a present."

His face was one of curiosity. Considering it was Christmas Eve, it was perfect to give him the present I had bought for him. It wasn't particularly expensive, but I knew it was perfect for him. Grabbing the bag I had left on the floor by the door, I took out a wrapped item. I slowly walked toward the bed, sitting on the end of it, and handed him the present. He held it only at first, but when I smiled, he began to unwrap it.

"Oh Bam, it's perfect."

I grinned greater as I saw him look in awe at the leather-bound notebook I had given him. "I figured you could write your songs in there."

"And I will. Thank you."

In that moment, Ville took his hand and slightly caressed my cheek with it. Bringing me closer, he pulled my face into a passionate kiss, one I was much willing to return. As this happened, he began to push me back, and I obeyed his touch. What happened to us the very first time was happening again, and it felt absolutely wonderful. His hands began to wander everything, and I let out a moan as they did so. I began to move my hands as well.

"Get a fucking room, kids."

Ville pulled back, and I sat up, turning to see Brandon, who had just walked in. "We are in a room," I replied.

"Get your own room, then. I don't wanna see that."

"Brand, fuck off. Plus, where else are we supposed to go?"

He shrugged, "I don't know, take him home with you sometime."

It was clear that Brandon was pissed off with us. He knew Ville almost never left their room, so he knew that Ville would never come with me to my place. I stood up, getting ready to approach Brandon, when a hand on my shoulder stopped me. I turned my head to see Ville smiling at me, silently asking me to sit back down. I did so, and just leaned into him, my back against his chest.

"It's okay, Bammie," he said to me quietly.

"Then what are we supposed to do? It's not okay, Ville."

"Yes it is. We can sit here, and next time...I'll go to your place."

I gaped. Ville was actually going to leave his room and the university campus just for me. Part of me told him not to, if he didn't want to, but another part of me was so flattered and excited that I couldn't do anything else but smile. Closing my eyes, I felt his hand begin to brush through my hair. The man was being the best anyone had ever been to me.

I hadn't realized it, but during that time, I must have fallen asleep, because I awoke to a dark room with Ville asleep beside me. I glanced over to see if Brandon was also in the room, but it was dark and I couldn't see. Grabbing my cell phone from my pocket, I checked the time. It was one in the morning, meaning it was already Christmas. April and Phil were probably worried sick, or angry, so I decided I'd best get home as soon as possible.

I slinked out of Ville's grasp, and stood. Deciding it would be best not to just leave like that, I used the light of my cell phone to write him little note on a scrap of paper. Following that, I also used the light on my phone to see around the room to leave. I attempted to get out the door as quietly as I could, then realized that I didn't have the van; I had taken the bus the previous day.

The bus didn't come by until I had been waiting in the cold at least a half hour, but I was thankful when it finally arrived. Because it was Christmas, the driver let me ride for free, and I was the only one on the bus for the longest time. By the time I got home, it was not long after two-thirty in the morning, so I quietly made my way toward my room and flopped down on the bed.

"Bam, are you home?"

I should have known that April would be waiting. "Yes, Ape. I'm here."

"Where the hell were you?"

"I was out, having fun with a friend, and I lost track of time. I'm sorry."

"Do you know how worried I've been?"

"It doesn't matter," I said, "Because it's nearly three in the morning, on Christmas no less, so unless you want me to run away, please let me sleep."

Reason obviously got to her, because I heard her walk away from my bedroom door and back down the hall. My stomach began to rumble, and I knew I was hungry, but leaving my room might attract the attention of April again, and I wasn't willing to risk it. Passing out on the bed, my first thought was that I hoped Ville was happy, and that he'd understand why I left.


	18. Eighteen: Hard Times

"Bam, are you feeling okay?"

Time had passed and it was now approaching the second week of January, and my third month of pregnancy. No longer was I getting sick in the morning as much as before, but I was feeling much more tired than before, and my senses had changed quite a bit. I was beginning to crave different foods, and toss away others. I had never been quite a coffee drinker, but now the stuff just disgusted me, whereas I was going to the store each day for gummy bears.

"I'm fine, Ape. Just a little exhausted."

"Don't spend all night up. You need to concentrate in school."

Little did she know that I couldn't concentrate as it was. School was becoming a bore for me, much more than before, and I was always feeling alone. Although I had Raab to hang around with, he was still a grade younger and in none of my classes. Throughout class, I was finding myself thinking of Ville, or thinking of our baby. It was weird, considering nobody suspected a thing.

"I can concentrate fine," I retorted.

"That's why your teachers are still calling, isn't it?"

"That has nothing to do with concentration. It's just...I'm bored, is all."

"Then listen in class and become more interested," she told me, "Unless you don't want to graduate?"

"Yes, I want to graduate."

It was true, I did want to graduate. I wanted to get out of school as quickly as I could, especially with this baby on the way. I was due in early July, the fourth of July no less, and I had to graduate at the end of June in order to be fully ready. Ville wanted to go home in the summertime to Helsinki, Finland to visit some friends, but he assured me that he would wait until after the baby was born, so he could take the two of us with him.

"Then study!" April said, looking at me with wide eyes.

"I will, I will," I told her, standing from my seat at the table and grabbing my sweatshirt off the chair I was seated in.

"Wait, where are you going?"

"For a walk. I'll be back soon, I promise."

With that, I pulled the hoodie over my head, and opened up the door. It was a windy day, particularly one of those days where I wished for my jacket. I still had the one Ville gave me, but April, being cautious and worrying, told me to return it to "my friend" as she said he may need it. To put suspicion to rest, I hid the jacket in my closet and only wore it when my parents were out, or when I was sure nobody was going to notice me leaving.

I pulled the hood on as well, hoping the wind would stop nipping at my ears. Luckily, it helped a slight bit. I walked down the sidewalk, hands in the big front pocket of my sweatshirt, grasping three dollars in my right hand. I figured I would go to the store again and crush my caving for gummy bears, and lucky enough they weren't so expensive. Throughout the walk, my head was full of different thoughts and opinions.

Would I tell my parents about the baby? I could easily move out without telling anyone, and leave them to wonder, but part of me wanted them to be part of my child's life. The little boy or girl Ville and I made would want to know it's grandparents, and not just Ville's parents. I considered telling it that Brandon was his grandpa, for fun, but decided against it when thinking seriously.

"Bam! Hey, Bam!"

I turned to my left to see someone coming toward me. It was a girl from my school, Missy Rothstein. "Hey, Missy."

"Where are you going?"

"Just to the corner store."

She smiled shyly, "Can I come with you?"

"I guess so."

It was very odd walking to the store with Missy. It was no secret that she had a huge crush on me, but she was a good girl. She was not one of those girls whom I'd sleep with and barely speak to again, she was just instead the nice girl who never had the guts to even ask me out. I thought it was cute for a while, but now that I had Ville, I didn't think much of it anymore.

"So, Bam," she began, "There's a school dance coming up."

"Yes, there is. Next week."

"Do you...do you want to go with me?"

I was a little shocked that she actually asked, but I shook my head, "I'm sorry, Missy. I'm...taken."

"Really? I never see you with anyone."

"That's because he doesn't go to our school."

She shot me a confused look, "He? You're dating a guy? You're gay?"

I sighed. It seemed that this reaction was the one people would continue to give, no matter what my past says. It wouldn't matter how many girls I'd fucked, but as long as I was screwing around with a guy, I was gay. I shook my head but said nothing, just kept walking. Missy said nothing more yet, but she continued to watch me for some sort of reply.

"No, Missy. I'm bi. It's different...and difficult, I suppose."

"Well, I wish you the best of luck with him."

"Thanks. I...actually really appreciate the luck, I will need it."


	19. Nineteen: Reach Out

"Bam, is it true that you're gay?"

It was getting close to the end of January, and people had spent the past week talking about me. I knew exactly what they had been talking about behind my back, and I had the faint idea where they heard it. Missy hadn't necessarily been known to be quiet. Although very shy, she was a huge gossiper, and I hadn't thought of it at the time when I told her about Ville.

"I'm not gay."

The girl speaking to me, a blonde named Sara, giggled. "Then what are you?"

"Fuck off."

I was definitely not in the mood to take this. During study hall, the last thing I wanted to hear about was my sexuality. I was beginning now to get bad mood swings, as well, and I didn't want to be held responsible for anything I might have done or said when angry. Also, I didn't want anyone to see my crying if it came to it. When Sara asked me the question, I stood and walked away, finding another library seat to sit in.

Being in school was becoming more and more unbearable. All I wanted to do was sit with Ville, or go out skateboarding, but I could do neither. During lunch I would always tell Raab about how bored I was, before running off to the computer lab to send a quick email to Ville. I often attempted to sleep during study hall, but either the librarian or a student would notice, thus not allowing me to. Now, all I could hear was gossip around me.

"You know Bam Margera? He's gay!"

"I heard Bam has a boyfriend. I wonder who he is."

"Bam's gay and dating some perverted old man!"

Usually this sort of stuff wouldn't bother me, as long as it was true. I did have a boyfriend, and people now knew that, but I wasn't gay, nor was Ville a perverted old man. I hadn't told anyone that he was older at all, but they always want something new and exciting to talk about. Eventually, I attempted to hide myself within the stacks of the library, when I bumped into someone.

"Sorry," I muttered, before looking up.

"It's okay, no harm done."

I was confused, there was this guy smiling at me who I'd never seen before. "Uh...who are you?"

"I'm a student teacher here in a freshman math class. My name's James Franks, but you can call me Jimmy."

This was surprising for me. Not only had I never seen the guy around, although him being a student teacher in freshman math was explainable, but he actually seemed cool. He didn't seem to care that I wasn't sitting and doing my work, like I was supposed to be doing during study hall. Instead, he stood there with a book and smiled to me. I returned the smile.

"I'm Bam. I'm a senior here."

"You're the one everybody's talking about."

I sighed and held my head low, "Yeah, I am."

"Hey, hey, it's nothing to be embarrassed about. Everybody gossips, just ignore them," he told me.

I nodded, "I guess. What's bothering me, though, is that there's more to it."

"Is there? Would you like to talk about it?"

I had to think for a moment. I had never met this guy before, but for some reason, I figured I could trust him. Nodding to him, he led out of the stacks and to a table in a far corner in the library, away from listening ears. I was unsure what to say to him at first, so we sat in silence for a couple minutes. Finally, I figured I was ready to talk.

"It's true, I have a boyfriend."

"That's nothing to be ashamed about. We all have our preferences."

"But uh..." I started to twiddle my fingers, "I'm also pregnant."

"Really? How far along?"

"Uh...fifteen weeks tomorrow."

He looked thoughtful for a moment before asking, "Where's the father?"

"West Chester U."

"And you want nobody to know about this?"

I nodded, and he grinned, "Then I won't tell."

I went on to tell him more about the situation. I explained how I met Ville through Brandon, and how we were only friends at first. I also explained the anger and betrayal that Jess and his friends showed me when they discovered the whole ordeal, as well as the fact that I was frightened to tell April and Phil. It didn't even feel like I was talking to a teacher.

"You will have to tell them sometime."

"I know. My buddy Raab can't stop stressing that point, and neither can Jess."

"Don't be annoyed with them. They're only looking out for you."

I hadn't taken the time to think thoroughly about it, but Jimmy was right. Everybody did care about me. I still didn't want to tell Phil or April about my baby, but I understood why everyone wanted me to. Jimmy explained that he was only seven years older, and understood my predicament. He also offered to talk to me whenever I needed to at school.


	20. Twenty: Losing Grip

"Any plans for Valentine's Day?"

I looked up to Jess, who had asked me the question. It was early February, the exact day of my fourth month of pregnancy began, and for some odd reason Jess had decided to come for dinner. April had been ecstatic when she saw her older son at the door, although I was a little confused. Was he here to tell her about me? Or was he just here to see his family?

"Um...no, I hadn't made any yet."

That was true, Ville and I never spoke about it yet, even though it was two days away. "Well," Jess began, "You really should."

"Bam, do you have a girlfriend you never told me about?" April asked.

I gulped, "I...I guess so."

"Is she pretty?"

"Yes, Ape. She is very pretty."

Jess scoffed and muttered quietly, "That's one person's opinion."

I shot him a dirty look. Just because I thought Ville was damn gorgeous didn't mean he had to make fun of me for it. It seemed like the only reason Jess had come to dinner was to embarrass me, but I attempted to push that thought out of my mind, and concentrate on dinner. I picked around at it a bit, waiting for him to say something, before actually taking another bite.

"Bam," Phil spoke up, "What's with the sweater? It's not too cold in here."

Sweatshirts had become my best friend. Considering I could see the bump start to grow when I looked in the mirror, I knew I had to cover it up as soon as I could. It wasn't noticeable beneath my wrinkly sweatshirts, and that was the way I liked it. The only time I had planned to wear anything smaller was when seeing Ville, but still hiding it on the way out.

"It's just comfortable. I guess I didn't wanna take it off."

"Perhaps he's just getting fat," Jess suggested, and I shot him a look, silently telling him to change his suggestion. "Or maybe, he's bulimic or something."

Like I could count on Jess for that. "No, I'm not fat or bulimic."

"Thank God," April began. "I would be so worried otherwise."

She'd be so worried anyway if she knew was really going on. In another month, it would be difficult to hide my bump, even under my sweatshirts. Somehow, I had to move out before then, or actually tell them what was going on. I decided that if April ever noticed the bump and questioned me about it, then I would tell her, but otherwise, I would be completely oblivious.

"I just like sweaters, Ape. It's no big deal."

"So Bam," Jess spoke again, "How did you meet your girlfriend?"

April's face lit up, "Yes, Bam. How did you meet her?"

I choked, "Well...uh...can I be excused? I'm not hungry anymore."

I really didn't feel like answering that question. April wouldn't be too happy to know that my "girlfriend" was a twenty year old man in Jess' university. Nonetheless, she would still be happy that I had someone. Pushing the negative farther into view, I dropped my plate in the sink and ran upstairs. For a few minutes, I sat doing nothing, before I pulled out a book to read.

After twenty minutes, my book got boring, and I decided to write an email to Ville and ask him about Valentine's Day. It wasn't a long romantic thing like some had been, but a quick and short one telling him about my night, and how we ought to get together on Valentine's. Just as I finished pressing send, I heard a knock at my bedroom door. I hesitated to open it, but did anyway.

"Hi Bam, can I come in?" Jess asked.

I stood there in silence, contemplating slamming the door n his face, but listened when he said, "I'm sorry."

"You're sorry?"

"For being a dick. I was only just playing with you."

"Yeah well, any more playing and you would have outted me!"

He walked past me, into my room. "I know, Bam. That's why I'm sorry."

I gave it a little thought for a moment. Jess had been cruel to me at dinner, but he did seem genuinely sorry for it now. Perhaps he had only been playing, and then realized that he went too far, and waited for dinner to finish before coming to talk to me. Sighing, I walked over and sat beside him on my bed, where he had decided to sit. I turned to face him.

"This is so difficult."

Putting an arm around me, he replied, "I know. Just hang in there."

"What if they find out? What will I do then?"

"What you do best; just go along with it, and tell them."

I shook my head, "I don't want them to know."

"I'll always be here, Bam. Remember that. I may not approve of your relationship or this, but I will always be here."

I nodded, noticing the seriousness in his voice. Of course he didn't approve of my relationship. As much as he loved me, Jess was secretly a homophobe, although he would never cast me aside for being pregnant with another guy. As well, Ville was three years older than me, and I was still a minor.

"Jess, thank you so much."


	21. Twenty One: What You Want

"I would like to go to the park...with you, of course."

I couldn't believe my ears. I had asked Ville what he wanted to do for the day, seeing as it was Valentine's Day, and he had just told me he wanted to go to the park. I hadn't necessarily taken him seriously when he told me that he would someday go out somewhere with me. After all, the guy barely left his dorm room. I was smiling greatly now, which caused him to laugh.

"What's so funny?"

"You," he replied with a sexy grin.

He then stood up, and I followed him. It was a special day, and he wanted to do something as simple as taking me to the park. I didn't mind, I was actually quite happy, it's just that I had expected a different reply when I asked him what he would like to do. I gave him a look-over, as he barely stood when I was around; tight black jeans and a The Doors T-shirt, so simple, yet he looked goddamn sexy. I felt then and there like I should pounce him.

"Do you have a jacket?" I asked.

"Of course I do."

In case, this time I had brought his jacket with me. "Are you sure you don't want the ne you gave me?"

"Don't be silly, Bam. You're going to wear it."

"I am wearing a sweater, though."

"It's much too cold and windy for you to be wearing only a sweater."

Although that sort of talk often annoyed me, I found it nice that Ville would say that to me. It told me that he really cared, enough for me not to get any sort of cold. I pulled on the jacket I had brought with me, and followed him out the door. The jacket he wore was also black, but made out of a different material than the one I was wearing; his was nowhere near leather, like the similarity mine bore, but instead seemed more fit for winter.

It was indeed cold and windy when we got outside, but that made no difference. Ville held my hand as we walked, surprising me as no one had ever actually walked hand-in-hand with me since I was very young and April was required to. I was happy, though, and just smiled as we walked along. There were very few people outside, but we smiled to whoever we passed.

"It's been a long time since I walked around West Chester," he told me.

"Why? I mean...why do you always stay in your room?"

"I'm just very shy, and have nowhere really to go." He then was silent for a moment, before adding, "But now it doesn't matter where I go, as long as I have you by my side."

"I feel the same way."

There was more silence as we continued to walk. The only people who came to the park that day were a bunch of sledding kids, and some teenagers looking for a place to have a snowball fight. Ville and I took a seat on a bench, and watched as the kids were sledding. Although neither of us spoke, we were both thinking the same thing; someday we'd have a child like that. I leaned into Ville, and was about to close my eyes when I heard a voice.

"Bam! Bam, is that you?"

I looked up, to see Raab running closer, yelling, "Bam fucking Margera!"

Laughing as he reached me, wheezing from running, I asked, "Yes, Raab?"

"I didn't expect to see you here."

"I'm here with Ville...we came for a walk."

Raab looked at the man beside me, "Hi, I'm Chris Raab, Bam's best friend. You can call me Raab, though."

"Ville Valo. Bam's...boyfriend."

"I know that! I've heard all about you!"

Ville laughed, "Is that so?"

"Of course. Bam talks about you constantly. It's nice to finally meet you."

"You talk about me constantly?" Ville asked me.

"Well, of course. Raab is the one who's helped me through everything, from the moment I realized I love you, to...now."

He smiled, clearly happy that I had someone nice and good to confide in. Raab wasn't all nice and good, though, but that didn't bother me. Nobody's perfect, and just because Raab is a trouble-making sixteen year old alcoholic didn't mean he couldn't listen to me. I motioned for Raab to sit beside me, and he did so, rubbing his hands together as they were cold.

"So why aren't you two inside fucking each other's brains out?"

I went wide-eyed at that statement, "Raab! Shut it!"

Ville, on the other hand, calmly replied, "Because we figured it would be a nice day to go outside and see the world. Don't you think?"

"Personally, I find it too cold today."

"Raabio, I'm from Finland. I'm quite used to cold weather."

I laughed as I watched my best friend and my lover converse about the weather. Valentine's Day, although spent outside in the cold with Raab tagging along, was going spectacularly. I didn't think I could get any happier, but I smiled, and sat back to listen to them talk. The only thought that went through my mind then was that I had a happy life, and there was still more to come.


	22. Twenty Two: Don't Let Me Down Tonight

"Bam, come downstairs! Your father and I would like to talk to you."

Those days, April and Phil had so much to talk to me about. All the time, they had been calling me downstairs to lecture me about staying out all night without calling, or going outside without a jacket. I sighed and trudged down the stairs, expecting to be bored to death. Sitting down on the couch across from them in the living room, I placed my hands in my lap.

"What is it this time?"

"Bam," April began, "We've noticed a change in your weight."

I was silent, so she continued, "You've been gaining weight lately, and eating a lot more. I have to ask...do you have an eating disorder?"

"Eating disorder? Don't I need to be...not eating to have a disorder?"

"Of course not. Overeating is a disorder as well."

"And...you think I'm overeating and binging and shit?"

"Language, Bam. And yes, I do think so."

I laughed. Here I was, five months pregnant, and still wearing sweatshirts in the warming air of March, and my parents thought I had some sort of disorder. Personally, I was thankful that they didn't suspect pregnancy, but a little insulted that they would expect an eating disorder. I shook my head, laughing, which confused them, and stared them right in the eye.

"Ape, I promise you that I don't have an eating disorder."

"Then what's with the sudden weight gain?"

"Accidental. I've been hungry and eating more, not meaning to really."

"Are you sure, honey? There's nothing you're keeping from us?"

"I'm sure," I told her, partially feeling guilty about lying, but doing absolutely anything to clear my name for the time.

"Okay, but don't be afraid to tell us anything."

I nodded, and we sat in silence for another minute. When it was clear that neither of us were going to say more, I stood, and made my way toward the stairs. Half-way up, I found myself stopping, and contemplated turning around. Before I could understand what I was doing, I was running, grabbing the van keys from the hook as I passed, and made my way out the door.

Jumping in the van, I started up and reversed quickly, hoping to get away from my house as quickly as I could. Cell phone in my pocket, I knew April may call me, but I shut it off before anyone would have time to dial. The tension at home that night was much too much, and I had to get out. At first I didn't know where I was going, but before I knew it, I was at the university and running up the stairs toward room 341.

I was about to open the door, when I stopped, hearing voices inside. "It's been so long," one said, in an accent similar to Ville.

"I didn't think you'd ever come see me." I gasped when I realized that the second voice was none other than Ville's.

"It took too long, but I finally got the time."

"Thank God. I've missed you."

"I've missed you too, Ville. Too much."

I was confused about what was going on. Ville was inside with another Finnish man, I was sure of it, and they were talking about how much they missed each other. I considered the fact that perhaps they were old friends, but my doubt and emotions took over my mind. At the time, I was to angry to open up the door and say anything, so I kept my ear pressed to hear more.

"You barely even wrote me," the other Finn said.

"I have been busy. I'm sorry."

"Busy doing what? As far as I remember, you said that you stay in here and write all the time. You can't possibly be too busy to write to me!"

"I'm sorry, there have been other things."

It was at that moment that I decided to open the door, and I found myself dumbstruck when I saw the scene in front of me. There was Ville, standing in the middle of the room, with his arms around another man; a man with light brown dreadlocks. That wasn't what bothered me, but moments after I set eyes upon the two, the other man leaned in and kissed Ville on the lips.

I was silent for a moment, building up the anger, before crying, "You fucker!"

Ville turned to me, fear written on his face, as he whispered, "Bam."

I ran from the room as quickly as I could, hearing his protests behind me. I could not stop myself from crying, tears soaked my face within only seconds. Each door I came across, I slammed through, trying to release the anger that was beginning to build up inside of me. I never thought Ville would cheat on me, but I was also young, and apparently very naïve.

Back in the room, Ville punched a wall in anger. "Fucking hell...Linde, why the fuck did you kiss me?"

"I thought you felt the same way."

"I don't. I'm sorry, but we're just friends. And now the love of my life, who by the way is also pregnant with my child, has just left the room!"

The other man's eyes widened incredibly, "Oh shit, Ville. I'm sorry, I didn't know...you never told me..."

"I should have. Now...everything is ruined."


	23. Twenty Three: Bitter Pill

"Bam! Don't slam the door!"

I had just returned home from the university, still very angry, and slammed the front door as hard as I could. April ran into the entrance way from the living room, both shock and worry displayed on her face. I assume she was angry as well, judging from her tone of voice, but it obviously left her as she saw my tear stained face before her.

"Honey, are you okay? What's going on?"

I was silent, before muttering, "I'm not okay, Ape."

"What's the matter? Why have you been crying?"

I had no idea what to say. This was going to be the moment, where I confessed about Ville and about the baby, but I had no idea how to put it. Considering I was upset already, I wanted to be sure I didn't say anything hateful, or angrily, so I needed a moment to think it over. I sniffled and cried as I did this, and April came over and wrapped her arms around me.

"I'm pregnant, Ape."

"W-what?" she stuttered.

"I'm pregnant. I'm bisexual...I like guys...and I made the mistake of getting pregnant with one who now broke my heart."

At first she seemed not to believe me, but as I went on, she began to pet my head. "Oh Bam...I'm so sorry."

"You're not gonna cast me out, are you?"

"Of course not! Why would you think that?"

"Because I screwed up. I'm seventeen, in high school, and about to become a single parent in several months!"

"I wouldn't cast you out, Bam. I'm not proud of what you've gotten yourself into, but you seem to be going through enough without my punishment."

We stood there for another five minutes at the very least, April continuing to hug me and soothe me, before she sent me up to my room. I wasn't being sent up for any sort of punishment, but after what I'd been through that night, she decided that I needed sleep before I explained any more to her. I was unable to sleep for the firs hour though, before passing out for three. When I awoke, it was midnight, so I just decided to sleep some more.

The next morning, I slept in a bit before going downstairs for breakfast. It was a school day, a Thursday, but April told me I didn't have to go. I knew it was not only because she felt upset for my turmoil, but also because she wanted the chance to ask me everything before my mind got distracted by school. As soon as I got to the kitchen, April handed me a plate of toast and eggs.

"So Bam," she eventually began, "How did this happen?"

"The way any pregnancy happens. I had sex, and was too stupid to know that fucking males can get fucking pregnant."

She didn't bother about my language, as she knew I was moody. Instead, she asked, "Who is the father?"

"My friend Ville. The one I had been going to see."

"Do you...love him?"

I nodded, sighing, "Yeah, Ape. I do. I guess it's not good enough though, since he obviously doesn't love me back."

"What happened?"

"I walked in and he was kissing another guy."

"Are you sure? Sometimes things aren't what they seem."

I was very tempted to take her advice, but my subconscious kept bugging me to ignore it. How could kissing another man be anything else? It wasn't as if he was rehearsing for a play, otherwise I would have known about it. As well, it would probably be with a university student, not another Finnish man. I shook my head to her, taking a bite of toast and swallowing it.

"No, Ape. It was exactly what it seems."

She went back to making coffee for a few minutes, then asked, "So how far along are you exactly?"

"Five months. About twenty-two weeks right now."

Obviously April was surprised that I had hid it this long. Taking off my sweatshirt, I revealed to her my stomach, which was actually becoming quite large compared to before. Finally, she understood my sudden weight gain. I went back to eating my breakfast, and all was quiet until the phone rang. April ran for it, and brought it into the kitchen as she answered.

"Hello? Oh hi Jess, I was hoping you would call...yes, could you come and talk to Bam? He seems to need someone right now."

A minute later, she hung up and turned to me. "Your brother will be here in an hour. You might want to talk to him. Considering you need a parent's signature for the doctor, I'm assuming Jess was with you when you went?"

I nodded, and she left the room. I finished up my eggs and slowly trudged up to my room, removing my clothes so that I could go shower. I ran a hand through my hair, noticing it had been growing a bit. Entering the bathroom, I took a quick look in the mirror. I looked so odd with this big bump, but I knew that it was only going to become weirder, considering it still had four months of growing to do. Rolling my eyes at myself, I climbed into the shower. I was only in ten minutes, and emerged in time to hear April call up to me.

"Bam, you have a phone call!"


	24. Twenty Four: Fall for Me Again

"I'm very sorry, Bam. I...it wasn't what it seemed."

It was two days later, and I had agreed to go see Ville to hear his side of the story. The biggest part of me was sure that I was going to go home disappointed, but there was another part of me that was forcing me to listen to him anyway. He and I were sitting across from each other on his bed, me wearing a stubborn look, and him looking very sad.

"Then what was it?"

"He was a friend of mine. He thought that I felt the same way about him, so he came to visit...but I told him, Bam, about you."

"I didn't hear that part."

"You had left by then. I told him about you, and the baby."

"Why should I believe you?"

He sighed, "Because I love you, Bammie. I would never hurt you."

I didn't know what to say. There was still that chunk of me which doubted him, but there was a part of me that desperately wanted to believe him. My emotions had been all over the place, especially with this incident and the fact that my parents now knew about the baby, so it was getting tougher to even go with my gut feelings anymore. I sighed, and looked him in the eye.

"I don't even know why, but I believe you."

He smiled, "And I will do nothing to make you believe otherwise, I promise."

I returned his smile, and leapt forward into his arms. We sat there for a moment, holding each other as if our lives depended on it. After a while, I pulled back slightly, to meet the caring face before me. Moving in closer, I placed a soft kiss on my lips. He would not allow me to pull back, though, and fought at my lips to deepen the kiss. I complied, and moved my hands to hold onto Ville's hips. Knowing I had grip on him, I climbed into his lap.

He then grabbed my hips with his hands, forcing myself down on him harder. I let out a moan in his mouth as he did it, and began pulling up his shirt. We broke the kiss for only a second, so I could pull his shirt over his head, and we went straight back to where we were. I trailed my hands down his naked torso, causing him to gasp in pleasure at sensitive spots.

He began to push me backwards, but I shook my head and kept straddling him. "I want to be in control this time."

I took his lips in a passionate kiss, and through his pants I could feel him twitching. His hands came to rest on my hips, and soon attempted to pull off my shirt. As much as I desired to have complete skin on skin, I didn't feel right allowing my large belly to show. I reached down to unzip his jeans, and lifted myself slightly so that I could slip them off his legs.

I then placed my lips on his neck, listening to his gasp and moan as I bit the flesh. Slowly, I moved my mouth down his neck, and nibbled at his shoulders. As soon as I reached his nipple, I let my tongue flicker out around it, before taking it gently between my teeth. He gave a loud gasp then, and I laughed quickly before moving on. Looking up at his eyes as I moved in for another kiss, I could see the caring I had waited for in them.

Just as I began to kiss him again, I heard the door swing open, and someone yell, "Holy fuck!"

Looking toward the door, I noticed Jess and Brando there. "Hi guys."

"Please," Jess began, "Tell me you weren't...?"

"Sorry to disappoint you, brother."

"Oh God...go home to do that...please, I want to see none of it!"

I laughed at him, and Ville let out a small laugh as well, while pulling his shirt back over his head. I was disappointed, as our make-up sex was so rudely interrupted, but at the same time, I was happy. After all, I had Ville back, and I was pretty sure I could trust him. We were due to have a baby in four months time, and I was completely ready for that commitment.

"Sorry, Bammie."

"It's okay, Ville. We'll have our make-up sex some other time."

He grinned, "Is that what it was?"

"What else would it be?"

"Maybe you were just being...a tease."

I leaned in and kissed him softly, "I'm no tease, baby. I'm the whole thing."

A loud cough was heard from across the room, and I remembered then that Jess and Brandon were present. I gave another laugh as I saw them obviously pretending they weren't looking, but also seeming very uncomfortable. Standing, Ville held out his hand to help me up as well. I put one hand protectively on my belly as he pulled me up with the other. I jumped into a quick hug, gripping my lover like he was about to die.

"Bam, I'm here. You can see me anytime. Don't be afraid to let go."

I smiled at him, "I know. I've just...missed you."

"I've missed you too. It's been so hard, knowing that I hurt you."

"Forget about it, Willa. I know you didn't mean it."

He leaned in and pressed a small kiss onto the tip of my nose. I couldn't help but smile as he did it, because it was so unbelievably cute. In return, I gave him a quick kiss on the lips, before I heard Jess yelling at me to go home. Laughing as I had plenty times that day, I picked up my stuff and walked out the door, looking back to see my Ville smiling at me again.


	25. Twenty Five: Borderline

"It's true...he's pregnant!"

By mid-April, my sixth month of pregnancy, everyone at school could tell. I could barely pretend anymore that all I had done was gain weight, because my belly stuck out quite well, even through my sweaters. Girls either giggled or gave me looks of disgust as I walked by, plenty of them being girls who I had slept with in the past, and the guys could only give looks of disgust.

"It's okay, Bam. You still have me."

I nodded, "I know, Raab. Thanks."

"Forget about anything they say. It's useless."

Again, I nodded. Together, Raab and I sat at an empty table in the cafeteria, and I pulled a sandwich out of my bag. I had brought plenty to eat, but I was not in the mood to stuff my face in front of tons of people who would later whisper about it in the halls. Just as I was ready to mope again, someone slid in to sit across from Raab and me. I smiled when I looked up.

"Hey Jimmy!"

"Bam," Raab whispered to me, "Isn't that a teacher?"

Obviously Raab had whispered loud enough, because Jimmy replied, "Student teacher, and I would rather mix amongst you than them."

"Yeah, Raab. He's cool."

There was a little more silence, until Jimmy asked, "So, I can hear it all around the school now, Bam. Does it bother you?"

"More than you can imagine," I muttered.

"You know, you control your own life. All you have to do is address the gossip and make sure it follows your lead."

"What do you mean?"

"Don't admit or deny anything. Say your own thing. Tell them whatever you want them to talk about."

I scoffed, "I don't want them to talk about me at all."

"Unfortunately, you know that's not an option."

I nodded. He was telling the truth. As long as I was walking around up the duff, something would be said about me. I thought long about it as Raab and Jimmy got acquainted with each other, and decided that I would address the rumours. I would be honest about the identity of the father, as there was no reason for me not to be, but I would deny any other accusation made toward me.

"All will be fine, Bam."

I nodded, and Raab spoke, "I'll back you up whenever you need it."

I felt lucky. In what was probably the most difficult part of my life, I had people behind me; Raab and Jimmy at school, April and Phil at home, Jess and his friends at the university, and Ville generally whenever I need him. The idea of it all made me smile, and I grabbed the snacks out of my bag too, not caring if anyone watched me stuff my face with food.

When school ended that day, I found myself sitting in the principal's office. During my last class, my teacher had received a message saying to send me down to the principal as soon as school let out. I was confused, as I was sure I hadn't done anything wrong. Running into Raab on the way there, I decided to drag him along with me. The confusion didn't stop, as Principal Dugan allowed Raab to sit in with me at my request.

"Mr. Margera," Dugan began, "I believe we've never discussed your condition."

He wanted to speak with me about my pregnancy? "Uh...no sir."

"Were you aware that men were capable of getting pregnant?"

"No sir, I wasn't."

"How far along are you?"

"Six months."

He nodded, and continued, "I was approached by the health counsellors here about your condition. They would like to make sure you are aware of...options. As well as a special school for pregnant teenagers."

"You want to kick me out of school?"

"No, of course not. I just believe you'd be more comfortable elsewhere."

I shook my head, "No. I would not be comfortable parted from my friends."

Before he could say anymore, Raab helped me up, and the two of us stormed out of the office. I should have known that it would eventually happen, as I'm sure no school wanted to be known for having pregnant teenagers attend, but I would never let myself get separated from Raab. Or Jimmy, as I thought about it more. The two of them made my education bearable.

I invited Raab over, and the both of us walked through the warm weather toward my house. It was starting to get much warmer out, almost two warm for sweaters, but I refused to go somewhere without one. I always seemed like a put together type of person, but I was often afraid to look at my belly, just because it reminded me that I was no longer thin or fit. Of course, I hadn't told anybody, but nobody had questioned me about it anyway.

"How was school?" April asked as we walked in.

"Let's not talk about it, please?"

She gave us a confused look, and Raab muttered, "Bad day."


	26. Twenty Six: Show Me the Way

"Are you excited, Bam?"

My sixth month passed me by quickly, and I was growing more each day. As I entered my seventh month, Ville finally went to look for apartments. I went with him a couple times, as he wanted my opinion on where we were to live. I had decided for sure that I would move in with him, and he was thrilled. So thrilled, actually, that he asked me to marry him after the baby would be born. I was jumping for joy, as I was so happy.

April wasn't particularly thrilled to know that I would be moving out and getting married before I even turn eighteen, but knowing full well that she would be unable to stop me, she gave me her blessing anyway. I assume she was just glad that Ville and I were taking everything into our own hands, and taking responsibility for our actions.

"Very excited," I replied to Missy, who had come over with Raab to help me pack up all my stuff.

It was then early June, and Ville had purchased an apartment a week earlier. He was already moved in, with the little stuff he had with him at the university, and assured me there would be more after he returned home for a month. I was set to move in as well, and just needed help packing everything together. My computer was the hardest to pack away, but somehow it was done.

We had agreed that while I was pregnant and relaxing, Ville would use my computer, and instead I would use his laptop. He wanted that after I moved in, and when I wasn't busy in school, for me to relax all the time as to not induce early labour. I laughed at it, but Ville made it clear that he was quite serious. Missy had offered to help me pack, and happy as I was that there was one girl at school who wasn't disgusted by me, I agreed to let her.

"I can't believe you're actually getting married."

"I am. You better believe it, Missy."

Raab shook his head, "I still think this is all...whacked."

My eyes went wide, "You're the one who told me t go after him! And that was before any of this baby nonsense began!"

"Go after him, not get married."

I decided to ignore him. I knew that he wasn't truly upset, but just that he was under a lot of stress. After all, he almost got kicked out school multiple times, only to have his mother threaten the principal to let him finish. As well, this entire packing day was leaving him with most of the work, because Missy wasn't very strong, and I was too pregnant to lift anything heavy.

When everything was finally filled, not without sneaking into Jess' old room to retrieve stolen items of mine, Phil and April helped us move them down to the van. I put up quite a fight with them to be allowed to drive, but eventually I pulled through. The car keys were handed over, and Raab agreed to drive it home for them, as he could just walk to his house from my old one.

As we arrived to he building, Ville met us outside, to help with some boxes. He refused to let me carry any unless they were only filled with clothes. I was ready to protest, but did not want to fight with him at all, especially in front of my friends. It was no as if we always fought, but we constantly got into disagreements because I like to do everything, but he wants me to take it easy.

"This is it, Bammie," he told me as we entered the apartment.

I looked around carefully at it. The place was not huge, but it was certainly big enough. It had a nice kitchen, a spacious living room, as well as three bedrooms. I knew one room would be for us, and one for the baby, and Ville had explained to me how it's nice to have an extra room in case we had a friend who was in need of a place to stay.

"It's wonderful. It really is."

I didn't know what else to say, but that alone put a smile on his face. "I'm glad you like it, because I wouldn't want you to move out for any reason."

Our bedroom was the biggest, and we brought most of the boxes there. A desk was already set up in there with Ville's laptop on it, as we had decided that my computer would go in the living room. Missy and I put all my clothes away in the dresser and closet, while Ville and Raab set up my computer. After an hour, we had accomplished enough, and all decided to have a snack.

Sitting in the living room, which was yet to have a TV set, we all began to talk about anything that crossed our minds. Topics went from school to homework, and to parents and home. I learned a bit about Ville's parents and family back in Finland, a family who he was now certain would accept us as a couple. The conversation was then turned toward the baby.

"Is it a boy or a girl?" Missy suddenly asked.

"Girl."

Ville shot me a confused look, "You knew? Why didn't you tell me?"

"I wanted to surprise you."

"Have you thought of any names?" was another question Missy asked.

"I like Victoria," I told her.

"I don't care what you name her," Ville told me, "As long as she's mine."

I decided that then would be the perfect time to pick out a name for our unborn daughter. Victoria was definitely going to be a part of it. As well, I wanted to add in April as the middle name, because my mother had been such a help to me in all my life. Due to the fact that Ville had an unusual name, I also wanted to add an unusual name to my daughter's, just to make it complete. She was to be part of us both, and therefore should have a name relating to both of us.

"I've got it. Our baby girl shall be called Victoria April Elliyah Valo."


	27. Twenty Seven: New Beginnings

"Mr. Margera, what is the meaning of this?"

I had been sitting in my math class in late June, the last week of school to be precise, when Ken Stantos began to bully me. He sat behind me in class, and every time our teacher would turn his back, Ken would throw little notes at me, calling me a whore or a fag. Eventually, I'd gotten tired of it, and turned around to throw a punch at his face.

"He was a being a dick," I explained.

"That is no reason for you to use violence."

"He wasn't going to stop unless I did!"

"Mr. Margera, please lower your voice. You are not to speak to a teacher that way, or I shall be forced to send you to the principal."

"That's not fucking fair!"

"Brandon Margera!"

I then stood, knowing full well that he was going to send me to Principal Dugan, when a violent pain flew through my abdomen. I sat back down, at first angering the teacher, until he noticed me wince, and grab onto my large belly. Confusion fell all over the class, and even I barely understood what was happening, but eventually I realized exactly what it was. The baby was coming.

"Brandon, are you okay?"

I couldn't even look at the teacher, but instead said, "I need to go..."

Instantly, he pressed a button on the P.A. system in order to call the principal. Realization was dawning all over the class, and panic began to break out. People were acting as if it was their baby on the way, asking what they should do and whatnot. I was beginning to feel more than just a little distressed, and leaned back on my chair for support.

"Someone get...Raab...I need Raab..."

Mr. Johnson motioned for someone to leave and get Raab, as he knew who exactly who I was talking about. I made another request, which was for Jimmy. At first, nobody knew who I was talking about, so I told them to get Mr. Franks, who was a student teacher. Mr. Johnson sent another student out just as Raab arrived. He also seemed confused, until he noticed the position I was in, and paled as he understood what was happening.

"Bam! Oh God...what do you need?"

"Call Ville...please call Ville..."

Raab flipped out his cell phone, despite school rules forbidding them, and dialled Ville's cell phone number, which we had recently acquired. When there was no answer, he figured Ville was probably in a class, so he sent a text message reading, _911, emergency with Bam at skool. Hurry._ It was at about the time that Jimmy arrived in the room that Ville called Raab.

"Ville! You have to hurry! Bam's in labour! Uh...no, meet us at the hospital, I think we have a ride here. Yeah, just...hurry!"

Raab put his phone back in his pocket, as Jimmy noted to Mr. Johnson to tell Principal Dugan that he would not be back that day. He also requested that my parents be called, much as I could have done without. He and Raab helped me out of the room, my contractions causing me to wince or gasp in pain. They managed to get me out to Jimmy's car, and started up as quickly as possible.

Raab sat beside me during the ride, reassuring me about everything. He attempted to tell me to breath heavy, as that was what they did on TV, but I felt like slapping him. The pain was unbearable, but Jimmy reminded me that since I'm a guy, I would have to have a caesarean section done, which meant that the birthing process would be much quicker than for women. For that small piece of information, I was very grateful.

As soon as we got to the hospital, Ville was outside waiting with a wheelchair. Jimmy helped me into it, before introducing himself to Ville, and the four of us all went inside. Raab snatched my wallet from my backpack, and went to the front desk to have me signed in, and have all the paper work done, as Jimmy went to find a doctor. As the doctor came, Jimmy explained what was going on, and Ville and I were taken down the hallway.

Ville was given some hospital clothes, and told to change before following us. I was wheeled into a room where I was helped into some hospital clothes, before they brought me over to the delivery room. Ville emerged only moments later, as they moved me onto a bed, and began to inspect me. I held onto my lover's hand as he reassured me of everything. When the doctor mentioned that I would be cut open, I insisted that he put me to sleep.

I awoke hours later in a small hospital room with a dim light on. A newborn baby bed, if I could call it a bed, was sitting beside me. I almost panicked when I saw that there was nothing in it, when Ville approached me, holding a tiny baby. My eyes melted when I saw her, as I was so happy. This tiny little girl came out of me; this tiny little girl was created by Ville and me.

"Here's your daughter, kulta."

"My...daughter. My little Victoria."

I held her close, and Ville sat down on the end of my bed, rubbing my leg. He began to give me to details of her birth, and how afterward they were tempted to wake me for the name. He had given them the name already, and the birth certificate was made up while I was still out. Moving closer to me, Ville had the greatest smile on his face, causing me to smile back.

"We made this, Ville."

He laughed, "I know, Bammie. Isn't she beautiful?"

"She's absolutely gorgeous! She looks just like you."

"Yes, she does...but she has your exquisite blue eyes," he told me.


End file.
